Dear, Lovely

12: The Punk Version Of Me

 // Arielle //

I got caught yesterday.

I finally got caught at the only thing I'm good at doing; Hurting myself.

The house was completely empty; my careless parents never came back from their stupid weekend extravaganza. But honestly I had no problem with that, I thought it was the perfect time to do it.

I was all by myself.

It was one of those days ya know? The days you feel like a complete useless piece of shit. The days you feel so worthless because everyone else is ten times better than you will ever be. The days you question why your friends haven't ditched you and found someone more exciting.

The days you feel like completely giving up.

I didn't do much damage..just a few cuts here and there. It wasn't a big deal to me; normally people would think I'm insane if they found out I cut. They'd ask me why, and if it hurts, all that kinds of stuff.

It didn't hurt anymore. I was accustomed to the pain, the familiar pain that made me feel alive. I was about to end it once in for all...but the door open. The freaking door to my room slammed open.

At the door was someone very dear and near to me, the only person I'd say that truly cares. Uncle Scott. I didn't know he had a key to the house, and somehow..I knew he sensed I needed some kind of help.

He should've never came I'd be in a happier place right now..but he did.

He helped me clean up and stuff, took me to his apartment for awhile just for a breather. He talked to me about going to this group therapy session at the clinic he works in. At first I didn't hesitate to say no, I wasn't good at talking to adults...especially about my problems.

But once he told me it was just five kids who have problems..just like me;people who were having a bad time..just like me..

I couldn't say no...maybe I needed to meet people like me. Maybe I needed to actually get bette-

"You coming ,Kiddo?" His sudden deep voice made me flinch, my hands placed perfectly on my lap as I sat in his old champagne colored car. He was already out on the slightly empty parking lot, waiting for me to get down from the rusty thing.

I placed one leg out, sighing as I gained strength to take out the other one. "Do I really have to go?" I questioned softly for the fifth time today. He rolled his big hazel eyes and grabbed my right arm.

"Just c'mon, you'll be fine "He huffed, his hand still holding a portion of my mint colored sweater. I wiggled out of his grip, walking behind him. I looked down at the grey cement; it was covered in old pieces of gum and candy wrappers.

I felt a small gush of cold wind on my face the minute Uncle Scott opened the main double doors. I could already smell the crazy in this place. I looked around a bit as we stepped into the huge building. The inside looked cozy, everything was colored brown and the walls were a calm cream.

"Hey Janice, mind telling me where Steve's having his session? Last minute guest" He smiled at me while the lady on the counter stud up, her tiny fingers removing her large glasses off her face.

"Scott? What the bloody hell are you doing here? Don't you ever understand the term day off?" She giggled as he left me behind, walking towards the white counter.

"Ha-ha I guess I don't. I just wanted to bring my niece to Steve's sessions. She could use the help" He chuckled and I narrowed my eyes. Great my Uncle had no problem admitting to people that I was insane and needed help. My phone vibrated and I quickly pulled it out of my back pocket.