Dear, Lovely

6:Panic Attack

                     ~~ Arielle ~~

I emerged through the thick, thorny bushes. Breathing heavily as I ran towards the school. I found myself bumping into people, pushing them off the sidewalk, and moving them out of the way. Out of my way.

Only one question that occupied my racing mind.

Where is it?

“Where is it?!” I yelled, charging towards Rosalyn after flinging the main doors open. My best friend was standing in her usual spot, the corner of the red brick wall. Her boyfriend was next to her and both of their eyes widened as I darted towards them.

I grabbed her magenta shirt, gripping it at the sleeve. “Where is it!?” I yelled again, this time a bit louder.

“Arielle what the hell are you talking about?!” she exclaimed, her eyes full of fear.

I could feel my heart begin to race even faster than before and a wave of nauseating pain passed over me.

“My j-journal! S-someone took it, s-some one-” “Arielle please calm down, you're scaring me. Please, c’mon breathe, breathe.” She tried to calm me down, placing her hands on my small shoulders.

They harder she tried to calm me down the more people stared at me. I shook her hands off my body and turned around.

“I-I no, I- need to find it now! I- need to-” I mumbled under my breath, closing my eyes shut tightly.

Whoever had it right now was reliving my life. They could be laughing at my pain, my shame, my guilt, my dark reality. They had to be laughing at me.

I could hear Rosalyn trying to calm me down even more, but it was like someone was slowly turning the volume down, making her usually loud voice a sudden whisper.

“Babe, please get Luke, please.” Rosalyn faced Caleb, who looked terrified. He took off into the building. Rosalyn and I watched people arrive to school and head straight to their classes.

I didn’t want to go to school today, in fact, I was going to stay at home. My parents would be at work, so I would not have gotten in trouble. However, as soon as I discovered my diary missing, I knew I had to get to school to find it, before this panic attack got worse.

I could hear adults asking Rosy what was wrong, but she didn’t say anything at all. She continued to rub my shoulders and tell me it was going to be alright. I breathed in, trying to compose myself.

“Luke!” Rosy yelled, and I looked up to see him jogging towards us, his baggy navy-blue sweater moving with his body.

“What’s wrong?” he asked breathlessly, looking between the two of us. My drifted from him to the people surrounding us, staring at us. Their eyes were filled with a common emotion: pity. They all thought I was a freak. I knew they did. I was just a freak.

“She’s shaking! Look at her!” Rosy shouted, shifting to the side. I could feel vibrations coursing through my body. My knees were  shaking violently; my heart racing dangerously.

“Wh-what's wrong?” Luke stared at Rosy for a second, his wide hazel eyes filled with confusion. I still could not look at him directly, yet his gaze somehow met mine.

“She lost her journal, you know the one she doesn’t let us read?  And she’s freaking out! I don’t know what to do!”

I could hear her squeak, my hearing coming back. I could see Luke yell something at her, before she left with Caleb. “We’ll come back!”she yelled, as she stepped into building A. I don’t know where they were going, but I had a feeling it had nothing to do with helping me.