Dear, Lovely

18: Familiar Face

\\Arielle\\

“I’ll see you later then?” I chirped as Rosy exited out my front door, a large duffle bag moving as she took each step. “Yeah, I’ll come pick you up on Monday” She stated, then growled right after ‘Monday’ escaped her lips. I let out a giggle and shook my head.

Neither of us were looking forward to going back to school tomorrow…especially knowing the fact that we were a few months away from graduating and stepping into the big world. I hated school with a passion, well not so much the classes, but the people within them.

I hated the expectations, the pressure, and the environment. I ignored the whole senior talk in the beginning of the year, but now half way through winter break it’s when it hit me.

Where am I going in life?

What the hell do I want to be?

 Three years ago I wanted to be dead..and I’m afraid to admit that at that very moment that’s what I want. I didn’t want a future, I didn’t want to grow up, get a job. That’s what normal people do, I’m not normal. I’m broken, I’m weird, and I’m messed up.

“Are you listening to me?!” Rosy hissed, and my body flinched immediately at her voice. She was already close to her car, which was parked next door. “No, haha what did you say?” I said, a bit of guilt engulfed in my tone.

“I said, thanks for..ya know the sleep over..” I could see a small smile rise on her dark complexion, and I couldn’t help but smirk a bit. Rosy needed someone to talk to, she needed a quick escape from a parents. I couldn’t possibly say no, could I?

“No prob” I whispered to myself, my cheek pressed against the door. My dark orbs followed her small cubed car until it vanished further onto the street.

I let out a sigh, hearing a few crickets chirp loudly on my front lawn. Even though this whole sleepover idea was to help her a bit, and have fun, she had no idea she was helping me too.

Normally I don’t really see Rosy a lot. Sure we sit at lunch, and I sometimes see her after school, but we don’t really hang out as much. Even though she’s seventeen, her parents are really strict, especially her dad. She has to do all her school work shit, so she’s stuck at home…

But that’s ok. When I do see her, or get to hang out with her, everything changes. When I’m with her, there’s not a moment where I’m not laughing, it’s like I forget I’m hopeless, or that I’m a cutter..or that I killed my little brother. The point is that I forget about all my problems, and so does she..

I feel happy.

Now, when she leaves, it’s like everything comes back to me all at once; the loneliness I felt before she came surrounds me and the same empty feeling in my stomach overwhelms me.

Like everything goes back to the way it was.

“Where the hell have you been, huh?” I could hear my dad hiss from the kitchen. His strong tone makes my body freeze, not moving an inch away from the door. “Can you answer me when I’m talking to you?” He said softly, but I could tell there was anger hidden in his tone.

I gulped, as I saw his figure come towards the kitchen opening. For a second, I thought about opening the door and running away. Maybe I’d go to Uncle Scotts house, or maybe ask Zack to let me stay at his. Not to sound desperate, but I’d do anything to get out of this hell hole.

“Are you suddenly deaf!? I asked you a question-“