Crazy

Not Again

"Hello?"

"Hey Dean, it's Rory."

Rory stood still, not talking, just breathing. What do I say? She thought.

"Rory?"

Rory wanted to talk, but couldn't, no words came to her mouth.

"Hey, Rory? You there?" Dean started to worry.

"Uh...yeah, I'm here." Rory stuttered.

"Are you okay? You're voice is shaky."

Come on Rory, get it together. "Yeah, I'm fine." She nervously laughed.

"Okay, well, what's up?" Dean could tell that something was still bothering Rory.

"Nothing much, just chillin'." Just chilling? Really?

"Cool...so why did you call? Not that you can't call, but you never call...it's been 3 years since you have." Dean rambled.

"I don't know." Rory lied. "I just wanted to catch up. Want to meet maybe have dinner?"

"Sure, how about Carter's? It's a new burger joint close to Stars Hollow."

"Sounds great!"

"Alright, I'll pick you up around 7:00?"

"Works with me. Bye, Dean."

"Bye Rory." Dean hung up.

Rory checked the time, 5:30, she got ready and put on a floral blouse with jeans. She checked her watch, 6:50.

Rory sat on her couch and looked beside her to see a book. It was Jess's. She blinked a couple times to hold back tears. He doesn't love me, he doesn't want me, he hasn't changed. Rory repeated in her head. Rory, you can't cry. Not now, not with Dean coming.

There was a knock on the door, Rory greeted Dean.

"Hey!" She said, as she looked at Dean for the first time in years. Oh how she missed those beautiful eyes.

"Ready to go?" Dean said, seeming rushed.

"Yup." Rory said, interrupted of her thoughts.

Dean and Rory arrived at the restaurant and sat at a table.

"So, how are you doing, didn't you graduate?" Dean broke the ice.

"Yeah, about a month ago. What about you?"

"Nice, and no, I haven't. I just attended community college, but maybe someday I'll go to an actual college." Dean said, looking down and seeming bored.

"Hi, I'm Alice, may I take your order?" The waitress came over.

"Yes, I'll take a cheeseburger, and she would like?" Dean motioned to Rory and and she noticed a wedding ring on his finger.

"Um, same thing..." Rory's heart sank as she felt jealousy. She excused herself to the bathroom to let herself think. Why am I jealous? I don't love him, do I? No. I don't love Dean, with his beautiful brown hair and sweet eyes and how comforting his presence is- "No!" She said out loud. "I love Dean, but I love Jess. No!" She cried. Eventually, Rory wiped her eyes and headed back to the table.

"Rory..." Dean noticed her red eyes and troubled look. Oh no. Dean thought. She's been crying, did I do something?

Rory sat in silence in till the food came, and when it did, she barely nibbled at it.

"Rory, you barely ate."

"I'm sorry, I'll pay for it...I'm...sorry."

"That's not the problem. You're not okay, you're eyes are red, I can tell you've been crying. On the phone, you sounded like you were going to burst into tears."

Rory blinked, but this time her efforts to keep from crying failed. The small tears turned into light sobs.

"Come here." Dean motioned for Rory to go outside. But first, he left the money on the table.

"Dean, I'm sorry! You didn't ask for this, I'm just an upset, emotional girl. No wonder I was left twice..."

"Woah." Dean started. "Who left you?"

"Well first Logan. When I didn't marry him, he left me. I said I wasn't ready for marriage yet, he just left...then Jess, he comes into town being all nice, seeming like a wonderful guy. He hasn't changed, he got mad at me one day and just...left. Actually, that was only about 3 hours ago. Look at me, I called you as soon as he left. What is my problem?" Rory sobbed and Dean brought her close. "Dean, I'm so-."

"Don't be. Those guys are jerks for leaving you."

Rory just held close to Dean. "Why don't you come over?" Dean asked.

"What, is that like, okay? Aren't you married?" Rory said looking at the ring on his finger.

"Yeah...but it's okay, she's not home this week. Out in Ohio, visiting family."

"Well, if that's all right with you? I guess I could stay a while."

"Cool."

Dean and Rory left to his house.

Dean took off his jacket snd sat down, Rory sat beside him. "Rory, I've missed you."

"Um. I've missed you too, it's been so long."

"No, Rory. I miss being with you, I miss holding you, kissing you, hugging you."

Rory was speechless, she missed him too. "I..I missed that too. B-but you're married, Dean."

Dean looked at his ring again. "I know. But I never stopped loving you."

"I never stopped loving you either." With that, Dean grabbed Rory, carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed.

"Wait..." Rory protested, even though she really wanted to do this, she knew she couldn't. "Dean, you're married. I can't do this, not again."

"Why not?" Dean said, angrily. "Why the hell not?"

"I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry." Rory got up and left his house. Now what? She thought as she ran as fast as she could through the dark streets. She went Luke's and knocked viciously on the door. Please be open. Please be open.

Luke came running over. "Rory? Are you okay?" He said, unlocking the door.

"No...I'm not." Rory collapsed over the table and the tears came, and they flowed. "I don't know what to do anymore." Rory put her hands in her arms. Luke put a hand on Rory's back and let her just cry. "Shhh. It's okay."