Lost

Eight

My heart ached seeing him this way. He was once so rambunctious and full of life. Now, he lay in this bed. Limp, lifeless and quiet. He was connected to all different types of machines and I hated seeing him this way. It reminded me of the sight of Avia, just hours before she had died.

He had a breathing tube attached to his nose, an IV in his little arm and was bruised and cut all over. His small body barely took up half of his white hospital bed. He was lying underneath a thin blue blanket, his chest slowly rising and falling. The gentle hum of the machines and beep of his heart monitor filled the quiet room. His room was pained bright green with all sorts of animals covering the walls, he would have loved this if he wasn't in so much pain— if he was awake.

We sat in his room for about an hour, nurses coming in an checking on him periodically. The sedation should have worn off by now and I was starting to get worried. The doctors came to tell us that Brock had fallen into another coma and he had about seven weeks to wake up. My vision was starting to become blurred from tears forming in my eyes. My dad must have noticed. He picked me up out of the wheelchair and put me on his lap. I snuggled into his chest and began to cry. He stroked my hair and whispered to me.

"I know Em, I know," he said gently, "We all miss him, but Brocky's a fighter. He's going to make it through this. He's woken up once and I believe in him. He can do it again. He's going to fight his hardest."

Gavin was asleep in a hospital chair with Daxton on his lap. Daxton was in his own little world, playing with some of his action figures. He was care free, not aware that his big brother was in danger.

Mom was in a hospital chair as well, she was on dad's laptop. She had tears forming in her eyes as she watched old Shaytard videos with Avia and Brock. She didn't have her headphones in, so the sounds of their voices, that I hadn't heard for so long, filled the room as we remembered the good old days. When my sister was still alive. When my little brother was his old, insane self. When no one in our family had a care in the world. When life was perfect.

Dad picked me up off his lap and carried me to join mom by the computer. I snuggled in a chair next to her. I looked at the screen, lost in all of the memories. The announcement of mom being pregnant with Daxton and later on, Willow. Avia's eighth birthday. Brock's bow and arrow. All the years of playlist and vidcon. Brock and Daxton's births. The many checkups for my soon-to-be baby sister. All out there for the Internet to see. Then we started watching fan made video dedications to Avia when she had died and compilations of "Rocktard's Best Moments".

The last the viewers heard from us was the announcement of Avia's death, and the small clips from her funeral. We stopped posting videos after that. Dad still filmed, but it was mainly for us now. For our future selves. He no longer posted any videos. We had fallen out of touch with our fans. They had no idea about the car crash. They had no idea about Brock's state. For all they knew, we were all healthy, but still mourning the loss of our sassy little Princesstard. For all they knew, we just needed some more time to heal. But no. Our life had took a turn for the worst. Things were starting to look up and then it all fell again.

Hours before the crash, we had spoken about posting videos again. We had no idea about what was to come. Hours before the crash, we were starting to become happy again. We were finally making an effort to normalize our lives. Hours before the crash, we were laughing and singing. We were enjoying life. Hours before the crash, we were ourselves for the first time in months.

Flashback
I opened my eyes to the sounds of Daxton screaming just across the hall. I smiled. I loved that little boy more than I could have imagined. I got out of bed and got dressed. Today was my tenth birthday and the day of my party. I put on a blue t-shirt that said LOVE on it that used to be Avia's, white jean shorts and my light blue converse.

I walked out to the kitchen to mom cooking pancakes and bacon— my favorite.
"Morning birthday girl!" Mom said excitedly, smiling at me.
"Morning mom!" I replied cheerfully.

Gavin was on the couch reading Harry Potter for the thousandth time. He put his book down and came over to the kitchen to help mom set the table.

"Morning Loofus!" Dad said. He was vlogging, "Today's your special day!"
He turned the camera on me and I smiled.
"Morning dad," I said.
He picked me up and began spinning me.
"Put me down!" I screamed.
"If you insist," he said and sat me on his knee.
"So," he said to me, still filming, "you're ten today Emmi Lou! What have you learned?"
I laughed, "Well, I learned to not take anything for granted because anything could disappear at anytime. You have to live life to the fullest."
"That's pretty good advice for a ten year old," he replied and turn off the camera.

He picked me up and brought me over to the table. I sat down in my seat next to mom and looked at the delicious breakfast in front of me.

"Brock! Daxton!" Mom screamed over the intercom, "breakfast is ready!"

Brock and Daxton came running into the dining room almost immediately and sat down. Gavin and I looked at each other and laughed at their enthusiasm to eat. Mom came and sat next to me and placed the extra pancakes and the plate of bacon in the center of the table.

"So," dad said after everyone had sat down, "who wants to pray on this special day?"
"Me!" Brock screamed, raising his hand as if he was in school.
Dad laughed, "alright Brocko. Go ahead."
"Dear God," Brock started, his energetic voice filling the room, "please bless this food and please bless Emmi on her special day. Please bless that she will have a happy and healthy year and please bless a year of happiness and health for our family. Amen."

And with that, everybody dug into their food. Mom and dad looked at each other and dad started a conversation.
"So kids..." He said, "your mother and I were thinking about starting to post videos again. With the new baby on the way and everything, we thought it would be nice to go back in touch with the viewers so that they could see Emmi turn 10 and they could follow your new sisters life like they have with yours. What do you think?"
"And, we don't have to if you guys don't want to," mom chimed in, "it's just a thought."
I smiled, "I'm down for it!"
I was happy they were starting YouTube again. This meant that our family would become somewhat what it used to be. I missed it to be honest. Dad still vlogged and everything, but nothing was ever shared. The Shaytards have been gone from the Internet for months now.
"Yeah, me too!" The boys agreed.
Mom and dad smiled.
"Alright! We'll post an explanation video later today and we will post some of the footage we've gotten over the past few months. Your mom and I thought it would be best to keep the mourning to ourselves, so we'll start with today. We will post all of Emmi's birthday celebration footage."

I wiped a tear away that had started to form at that memory. Little did we know that in just an hour or so, our lives would turn around. Little did we know, we would be in the worst crash of our lives. Little did we know, our lives would change and become overwhelmed with sadness once again. Little did we know, we would become our mourning selves once again. Little did we know, the happiness of that breakfast would last for so long.

--
Author's Note:
THE FEELS OF THIS CHAPTER. And I know, I'm so evil... Poor Brock. Fun fact, this is the longest chapter I've written at 1506 words! I'm going to try to make all of my chapters from now on this long or longer, but there are no promises. I hope you guys like this chapter! It's a bit different from my other ones. Also, TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY! WHAT!? I'll try and update some more tomorrow! Love you guys! -L