Poetry From The Mind Of The Loving

All That I Fear

*** This is a poem I wrote a while back, but forgot to post***

I never expected I would be like this.

I never thought I would be so afraid.

But I am afraid...

I'm afraid of holding on...

I hold on to these hopes that someday you will be there, standing in front of me with tears in your eyes and your arms outstretched... Even though I know it won't happen.

I'm afraid of letting go...

I fear what I will be like without you in my life or what you will feel like if I'm not in yours, the memories being left and forgotten... Because I need you.

I'm afraid of dreaming...

It's just a sad reminder of all that I want and can't have, what I need desperately that is being held from me... Because I dream of you.

I'm afraid of leaving...

A part of me knows you need me and that I will always need you despite what others say or think about you... But I need to go.

You said you always feared that this would happen.

I never thought it would.

I don't know what that means... And that scares me.

I wanted things to be different and expected it to be...

I fear that I was wrong.

I wished you would move on and that maybe you'd be different from them...

I wished we could be friends again, without the pain and doubt, but we can't.

There was only one path we could have followed.

I'm afraid that I don't know what to do anymore...