Poetry From The Mind Of The Loving

When It Hits

I can't help it when it hits.

I can't stop what I don't see coming.

It washes over like a wave.

The undertow pulling me down without remorse.

It takes all of my energy to fight against it.

I want to let these waves take me wherever they please.

I want to give in...

But I can't.

To give in to this may be my end.

I see these patterns in myself that they deny.

I know it is true.

Just as your memory drowns me...

I drown them with false promise and actions...

I can't help but lie.

It helps me cope.

I have demons no one can handle.

I need to be needed.

I am lost.

Every single time I see you suffer,

I feel the heartbreaking urge to tell who you truly are.

You aren't this demon you think you are.

I want to hold you and kiss away the tears.

I need to be there to fight away your fears...

But I can't be.

And when this realization hits,

It hurts.

I know it hurts you too.

But I think it hurts me more...

You need someone to keep you floating on the rough seas you sail.

You need someone to keep you anchored so you don't fly away.

You need someone to keep you from giving up on yourself.

You need someone to keep that beautiful smile on your lips.

You need someone who can be there...

So I hold my tongue to give you a chance to move on.

So you can find your boat, your anchor, your safe haven.

I will fight myself and make myself numb.

Maybe this pain has just begun,

But I will deal with the fall, walk through the storm, just for a chance you can have it all...