I'm Not Dead

Chapter Seven

Of course there's the big questions: how do we tell the parents that I am, in fact, alive and well?

I could just show up in the living room. But my father owns a shot gun, and that could end badly. Plus my mother would probably have the police called as soon as she sees me.

We tossed around the idea that either Laura or Theo tells them, but that was shot down: "You're the one who died and came back. You get to tell them." Theo said.

"What if I just die again?" I said. "What if I just kill myself?"

"No. It sucked going through that once." Laura said.

"This time it'd only be you guys who would have to deal with it though. And I'd stay dead. I mean it. Cross my heart, hope to stay dead." I made a cross over my heart.

"Well I've exhausted all my ideas," Theo said, then lit up a joint. Where the hell it came from? I had no idea. I reached my hand out for it. Theo puffed, puffed, then passed.

I took a slow drag. I thought about the letter I got from Landon. "What if I write letters to them? Don't put a return address or anything, but just say that hey I'm here and alive."

"Won't they get suspicious? Think it isn't you?" Laura said, reaching for the joint. I didn't know she smoked.

"We'll send a picture of me in one, holding up a newspaper with the date on it or something."

Laura passed the joint to Theo and Theo sucked on it for a bit. "Where would we take the picture? Your parents have seen the guest house before."

"We put up a sheet as a backdrop," Laura said.

I nodded. "I can't think of anything better." I grabbed the joint from Theo. "Go steal today's paper."

Theo raised slowly from the chair and I put out the joint. Laura and I worked on putting up a sheet. It was hung sloppily, but it covered enough to make it look like I could be anywhere. Theo came back shortly with the paper and I stood in front of the sheet and held up the news. Laura messed with my hair a little, trying to make me look a little better.

I smiled a little, not too much.

Theo took the picture on his phone, then said, "Take the goddamn sheet down."

"I'll print it off tomorrow at the school. Write your letter whenever. I won't read it, swear." Laura said and kissed my cheek.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I feel so alive

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know how crazy it sounds, trust me it was pretty crazy for me at first too, but I'm alive. The first thing I did, after crau crawling out of my coffin—thanks for not cremating me, by the way—was to stop by the house. After a nice long shower, I discovered you were gone. I called up Theo and told him, and he didn't really believe it at first either.

Uhm.

Since then, I've been to a party, and a fooo football game, and I might go to another party or football game again. It's been nice to talk to all my friends. None of them know that I'm alive though. I've been keeping my face covered with a and stuff so they don't really know I'm me. But I had a close call when one chick tried to kiss me.

I want to tell you where I am, but until I feel safe returning home, I'm going to stay here. I'm safe for now, I've got food and shelter and water. And I'm good. So don't worry about me. But I'm not sure how you guys will take this news. So I'll give you some space. That makes sense, yeah?

I love you both—pissed that you sold my car and used my college money for a vacation—but I still love you.

Your Son,

Elliot

I read the letter a couple times, then crumpled it up and threw it away.

I rewrote another:

Dear Mom and Dad,

It's Elliot. I'm alive. I'm not sure how. But I am.

Your (Alive) Son,

Elliot

I was lying in bed, just about to try to fall asleep, when a thought hit me and I started to laugh. Theo moaned.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" He asked, his sheets shuffling as he turned onto his side to face me.

"So when you were in the shower and Laura and I were at my place and my parents came home, if we didn't hear them, and they heard us first? My parents could've walked in on Laura and I having sex." I kept chuckling.

Theo sighed. "I see."

"Like, my parents haven't done that... ever. Because you know, we've always done it when they're asleep or when her parents are at church or when the parents are gone or out in the car or here, or in the shower. Never have my parents gotten that close to walking in."

"Church? You guys fuck while her parents are at church? That's so... wrong."

I laughed. "I know."

"So to sum up, you're laughing because you're thinking about how your parents have never gotten so close to walking in on you as they have today? And you find that amusing."

"Yeah."

Theo chuckled a little.

"It's funny isn't it?" I said.

"No. You're funny." The sheets shuffled more andTheo's voice sounded more distant. "Now go the fuck to sleep."