I'm Not Dead

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Mom hands me a stack of flyers to pin up around town. I read through, and it looks just like every other missing child poster ever. Description of August, picture, and when he was last seen. Who to call—my number, Mom's number, and Rebekka's—and something about how much we miss him.

I start to think about how if it rains the ink will run and the poster won't mean a thing.

I staple one up outside of the post office, and one inside too. I put a flyer up at the local grocery store, and the Walmart, and then at the two gas stations. Then at various other locations around town.

I stick a flyer in the doors of the churches around town, and as I'm walking back to my car, I drop the rest of the stack.

"Shit!" I yell.

I bend down to start picking up the pile and I watch as some fly off in the wind. Two other hands start to help and I look up. A girl, with long brown hair blowing in her face, is helping me pick up the flyers.

"Thanks," I say as she hands them to me.

She has one still in her hands. "Is this your brother?"

My first thought is to correct her, no he's my son. But this girl looks about my age, and I can't help but think about how she might judge me for already having a kid. I nod. "Yeah, isn't he cute?"

She nods. "He's missing?"

"Yeah. Went missing a couple days ago."

She hands me the flyer. "I'm sorry. I'll call if I see him..." she paused, waiting for me to fill in my name.

"Elliot," I shook her hand.

"Lauren." She said.

I laughed. "You're kidding."

"No, why?"

I shook my head. "It's just... nothing."

Lauren took one of the flyers again. "I'll keep in touch, Elliot,"

I smiled as she walked off.

Mom jumped every time the phone rings. I stopped getting excited after the fifth let-down.

"Doesn't it bother you that Dad hasn't come home?" I said to Mom one night, a couple days after August went missing.

"He's on a business trip." Mom said.

I nodded and walked into the kitchen. The phone rang and I answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Lauren, who is this?"

I smiled and sat down at the dining table. I messed with the pepper shaker. "This is Elliot. Find my brother?"

"No, sorry. How are you doing?" Lauren sounded concerned.

"I'm alright."

"Elliot who is that on the phone?" Mom called from the living room. She was peeking into the kitchen.

"No one, Mom," I rolled my eyes and went back to Lauren. "I just don't know where he could've gone. He's only a couple months old."

"Oh that's even worse." Lauren said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I hope we find him soon."

There was a lull in the conversation. Then, Lauren said, "How old are you?"

"Why? How old are you?" I came off sounding much more defensive than I meant and regretted it.

"No, I asked first." She paused. "I'm eighteen. But I'll be a senior next year. It's messed up, I know."

"Weird, you should have been a senior last year. I'm eighteen. Graduated."

"Wait, you were a senior? Did you go to Roosevelt High?"

"I did... Why do you ask?"

"You're Elliot Vaughn. And it's not your brother who went missing, is it?"

"No. How do you know me? I don't know you."

"You were the star football player, then you died, and came back. Plus you got Laura pregnant. And then married her. And then she died. Everyone knows you. But I was just a junior. I'm not surprised you didn't know me."

"Well when you put it that way I kind of sound like an asshole."

"You're a popular senior. I'm just a junior. You're fine. There's plenty of sophomores I don't know." Lauren paused. "Wow, your son is missing. I couldn't imagine how that feels."

I laughed dryly. "Feels pretty shitty."

"Are you doing okay?"

"I've been better."

I heard distant yelling on her end. Lauren sighed. "My mom needs me. I've got to go. We should hang out some time, though,"

I smiled. "Yeah, for sure. See you." I hung up.

"Who was that?" Mom called from the living room.

I sat the phone on the cradle and walked into the living room. "Just a friend."

I keep waking up each morning, just sure that Augustus will be there in his crib.

And each morning I'm disappointed when he's not.

I get dressed and go downstairs where Mom is making breakfast. Toast and eggs and bacon. It smelled great. And if my stomach ever grumbled anymore, I'm sure it would've.

"Doesn't it seem a little odd that Dad left for a random work trip—when he's never gone on one before—the same day that Augustus disappears?"

"He said that the trip was sprung on him." Mom said, pulling a piece of bacon off of the skillet.

My mouth no longer waters for foods it used to. My taste buds no longer care for food. I only want water. I pour myself a glass. "Did he even tell you where he went?"

"Well, no..."

"Well, that doesn't sound illegitimate at all!"

Mom put her hands on her hips. "Elliot I know that you haven't liked your father since you've gotten back but that doesn't give you an excuse to accuse him of something like that."

"Mom! Listen to me! Who else besides you, me, and Dad could've taken Augustus! He was in the house! It had to be someone who was inside the house or had access to the house. If you didn't take him, and I didn't take him, who else did?"

"Elliot, I will not stand here and listen to this nonsense."

"Mom!"

"Elliot, go!"

I grabbed my keys and left the house.