I'm Not Dead

Chapter Ten

I went over to Laura's after school let out. I wanted answers. I deserved answers.

We had a few hours before her parents would be home. A few hours is all I needed. I sat Laura down on the couch, and I sat down across from her.

"What do you mean when you said that you took care of our baby?" I asked. There was no easy Segway into this. I have to jump right to it.

Laura looked out the window. "Elliot, I'm not ready for this—"

"Laura I need answers. He was my baby too."

"He?" She questioned. "Elliot it was just an it."

I know this. I sat through the same Biology class she did when our teacher explained that at seven weeks the baby gets its gender. He explained that there was such a small window of opportunity to decide your gender. I found it crazy.

But an it? That's so inhuman. That's our baby, and to call him an it? It doesn't settle right with me.

"You had an abortion. Without asking my option? He's mine too."

"Elliot you were dead!"

"That doesn't mean you had to have an abortion!"

"Elliot even if I had the damn thing I would've had to put up with all those glares and whispers and I would've been such a slut." She spat the word. "It would've ruined my life. My career. Cheerleading would be over. Goodbye college. Maybe I'd graduate high school? And Childbirth? I'm not ready for that."

I couldn't look at her. "But... that's... he's still..."

"Elliot I made the best decision for me."

"Who all knows? Anyone other than me?"

"My parents."

"What?!" I looked at her now. Shit, I was so pissed about this. I wish she talked to me. How long did she know she was pregnant before she told me?

"Someone had to pay for it, Elliot. I don't have a job. And my savings account is locked down. And you were gone. I was scared."

"Dammit, Laura. Why weren't you more careful?"

I looked away from her, again. Tears were hanging in her red-rimmed eyes. "Right. Because this was all my fault. That's how people get pregnant."

"How long did you know before you told me?"

Laura bit the edge of her lip, normally so sexy.

"How long, Laura?"

"A couple of weeks. A month."

"A month? You waited a month before telling me?"

Laura was crying now. She stood up and turned away from me. "Leave, Elliot."

Something changed inside me. All my anger sizzled away. No, it didn't sizzle. It just left. Like that. I stood up, placing my hand on her shoulder. "Laura, I'm sorry."

She pushed my hand off of her shoulder and walked away, going to her room and locking the door.

God.

I left.

"Theo," I whispered that night, wondering if he had falling asleep.

"Mmhmm?"

He was close, just not quite.

"I wanna tell you something. But it can't change how you look at this person, okay?"

"Mmhm."

Okay so it's at that point where you're so tired that you don't even want to open your mouth. Shit, should I even tell him this? I took a deep breath. "Laura was pregnant." I said it in a rush. Silence from Theo. "While I was dead she had an abortion."

"Wait. What?"

"I was a father-to-be. Then she had an abortion. And now I'm not."

"Elliot are you okay?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't know, man. She didn't even discuss it with me. At all."

"Elliot. You were dead."

I swallowed. "I know." I sat up and darted into the bathroom. I heard Theo behind me as I hurled into the toilet. I hadn't eaten. I hadn't drank. All I threw up was water and stomach acid. Shit. Shitshitshit.

Once I was finished, I flushed the toilet and rested my head on the toilet lid.

"Elliot are you okay?"

I shook my head. "No."

I was sick. So I stayed on the couch most of the next day. Theo texted me halfway through the day and told me that my parents should've gotten my letter by now. That made me feel sick so I stood up and did that hurried walk to the bathroom when you're not going to throw up but you feel like you really might and kneeled down in front of the porcelain thrown.

I didn't throw up.

Laura texted me and asked if I was okay. Theo said you weren't feeling well

I didn't text her back. I didn't even open the text.

I showered. After I got dressed, I stepped into the living room and sitting in Theo's chair was Genevieve.

"You look like shit." She said, smiling.

"Thanks." I said, plopping back down on the couch. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"I should. But I'm not." She grinned. "Did you see my dream? That was my creation. More of a nightmare, I guess." She shrugged. "Still don't remember our deal, do you?"

"Genevieve, I'm sorry. But I've got some of my own shit to deal with. Why don't you just tell me what this deal is that you keep talking about is? Wouldn't that be simpler?"

She shrugged again. "I could. But where's all the fun in that? I like to string people along. I'm also not allowed to tell you. You've got to remember all on your own."

"How can I remember without you even giving me any hints?"

She smiled. "You'll remember. Something will happen, soon, and you'll remember."

I shut my eyes. "Okay, well if you don't mind,"I wanted to nap. I peeked open one eye and she was gone. Good. I can sleep inpeace.