Reserved [Book V]

Secrets

Somewhere in between Areum's apartment floor and the one underneath it, she climbed slowly up the stairs and Zitao wordlessly followed. But then, she stopped and faced him, sighed, seeing as though in front of her was a guy she didn't know. Silence was in between them, the flat part of the staircase their common ground.

"You look more shaken than I am." Areum declared after clearing her throat, bravely staring at blank eyes, as if their owner was the one face to face with his fear not so long ago. Areum always liked a hushed environment, but not like this... not when something grave is in issue.

"I'm fine. Keep walking." He mumbled, holding her by the shoulders and spinning her around so that her back was facing him.

His touch wasn't the usual soft and gentle one; rather, the opposite. Zitao had been a bit harsh that Areum let out a short gasp and it was like a trigger for him to release his hold, pulling his hands back like he was burnt by the fabric of her clothing.

"What's wrong? Tell me." She mumbled, and then Zitao shook his head when she faced him again. "I'm okay now. You don't have to worry."

"I'm not worried." He shook his head and huffed, stepping back once. "Go home, Jang Ah-reum."

"Why do you keep doing this?" Areum said finally, frustrated, facing him with her eyebrows in a bunch. "You don't tell me anything I want to know. If you're going to stick around for long, might as well give me information."

"You don't need to know anything." Zitao strongly answered. "You just have to be safe in all times under my watch."

"At least tell me what's wrong with you." She huffed. "Are your feelings confidential, too?"

"They are."

"But – "

"For fuck's sake, Areum, just go home!" He exclaimed, running a hand through his raven hair after seeing Areum flinch in shock. "I'm fine. Go to your brothers and forget what happened."

Areum wanted to scoff, wanted to laugh at his face so much to push his buttons and make his blood rise to the roof. She could've died today. She could've swallowed liters upon liters of that chlorine-infused water if Zitao wasn't on time. She could've hit her head against the wall of the pool and never surface once more. Or, looking at the worse, she could've never survived that panic attack while submerged and never saw daylight again.

"That's it?" Areum almost whispered, a tinge of anger lying underneath her tongue. "You want me to forget what happened?"

"It might be easier." Zitao stated.

"You want me to just forget what you made me do?" She added, fist clenching around the handle of the bag containing the wet clothes she used from earlier. It was a gift – kind of a curse – but Areum gets to keep it either way.

Zitao's face was flashing with so many different things at the same time and she was too caught up with her own feelings to even bother reading. It didn't help that he was blurry and she couldn't see his eyes well, so in the end, she just gave up and turned around like he had been insisting for the past five minutes.

She was at the door in weighted steps and a heavy hand, spinning the knob as if cracking someone's neck, and that left Zitao frozen in his stance at the staircase with his shoulders feeling like it was holding the sky up so it wouldn't crush Earth.

He didn't really want her to get scared, just overcome her fear and maybe on the way, forgive him entirely. Zitao wasn't just teaching her and paying a debt.

And every time Areum sees water, it wasn't just phobia.

***

The moment she opened her eyes, it was over.