Reserved [Book V]

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Something about Saturday felt different and Areum was too chicken to ask what it was. Just when she thought that everything was getting better between her and Zitao, here they walked on the side of the road without a word, not a smile, not even an ounce of expression.

It was as if they've ricocheted back to their early phase with no speaking whatsoever and Zitao being absolutely reserved and her being definitely curious. Something was wrong and she was pretty sure the problem wasn't her, because last they talked was yesterday when he took her home and stuff were fine, even the conversation was so casual like she had known him for a long time.

There was this certain hint in the way Zitao walked, slow and sensing, which was out of nature for Areum knew very well that he was always firm and certain. Now it was like he didn't know where to go when the path they were treading was all too familiar. It was the same road to the university.

Summer would be in full blast soon and the temperature of the air began to rise, but when Areum glanced at the boy's way he wasn't really that reactive. And she knew the heat annoyed him.

What was wrong this time?

She stared at the gates nearing in and kept her mouth shut until they entered. There were a few students walking here and there, most of them with irregular and Saturday schedules and some were just attending club meetings that usually take place during the weekends.

Areum still had no idea what the hell they were doing there but she kept walking and Zitao kept his mouth shut. It didn't get any less weird when he led her towards the building with the Olympic pool the campus swim team uses; in fact, the weirdness turned to fright really quickly when they were just a few steps away and Zitao wasn't even budging from the path.

Was that the thing inside Zitao's head?

But Kyungsoo had swimming as his sports subject... perhaps Zitao just wanted her to talk to the shorter boy. That was it, right? It's just harmless talk and nothing else.

Areum's palms began to feel clammy and the strength was gradually leaving her knees. Any minute now and they would buckle and she wanted to collapse until ten steps were left, and she felt fingers wrap around her wrist ever so slightly.

They stepped into the premises and treaded a short hallway for ten seconds, every movement of the clock feeling like it was triple in speed. Areum almost couldn't breathe and she felt numb all over, not even noticing when Zitao released her hand or that two of his friends were waiting by the lowest bleachers.

Nothing else consumed her mind but that sky blue shade of the water and with her phobia, the pool seemed much larger than it already was. Her chest was filled with rats eating their way to the core of her heart until she was empty and what's left was black and terror. People were talking around her and yet she could only hear words softened by her anxiety, reaching her ears the way a person would hear if their sense of hearing was underwater.

"Areum."

She stayed still. Areum was staring at the pool without an ounce of sharpness in her eyes for courage had been long gone.

"Areum!"

Zitao was obviously worried – or beyond worried, really – and his friends observed her quietly. Soojung and Yixing were genuinely concerned too, but not as much as the tall raven-haired boy because he knew how grave this kind of situation was for her.

"How deep is it?" Areum asked in a meek voice.

"Deep enough." Zitao answered quietly. But she shook her head and wanted specifics. A number. A dash of hope to survive the fear.