Reserved [Book V]

Tell

The article was in her trembling hands, burning, paining her fingers as if this piece of paper wasn't made to be touched. Areum just had to print everything out even though she had read it over and over and over again, almost memorizing the long forgotten news she came across hours ago.

She was on her bed sitting, back to the headboard and eyes at her study table. The laptop had already hibernated – she couldn't remember when exactly – and Areum didn't bother remembering.

Of all the emotions drumming inside her, she wanted to confront confusion the most.

It was a long line of thinking and thinking and thinking, and then waiting and waiting and waiting. After Areum absentmindedly checked the time, she stood up and treaded the path to the living room that felt like it was kilometres away. The article she enveloped in a tight fist still burned but she kept going, one step ahead of the other until she was just a statue in the apartment.

Wonshik was sitting on the couch and automatically worried, as followed by the rest of the inhabitants. She wanted explanations, a solid story as to why her grade school face was plastered in the news... and why she only found out about this today.

Too many questions and too many thoughts, and yet all Areum did was throw the crumpled article on the coffee table that made everyone just as confused as her. Hongbin sat down next to Wonshik and straightened the sheet out, reading aloud.

Every fact he said about Areum pierced a hole through her soul. Her name, age, school, the accident... one by one it softened the expression on Hongbin and Wonshik, Hakyeon maintained a poker face and Jaehwan was staring at the floor like it was the most fascinating thing in the world right now.

That moment she knew what was going on with her brothers and was ready to hear everything.

But everyone was silent as Hongbin placed the paper back on the table.

"Ten years, if I'm correct." Areum whispered and she fought hard as the incoming bawl punched at her throat. She was holding it back but the tremors in her voice were so apparent, it made the men in front of her look guilty right then. "You all have been tiptoeing around this conversation for ten years."

Wonshik, in a small voice, spoke up. This was so out of character but who was he in this instant to act all serious and powerful? He lied. All of them lied to her. "We were just trying to let you live without this getting in the way. It's in the past, Areum."

Hongbin agreed with him. "And you were so young. When we were told that your memories could come back any time, we all waited and waited with our parents. But then you were growing and time passed and nothing was happening so we decided to just keep mum about the accident."

"We're sorry, maknae." Wonshik immediately added and then sat straight. Areum couldn't hear the apology. All that was ringing in her ears was that they didn't talk about it, and she had no idea she went through this.

"Why can't I recall anything?" She asked, trying not to snap and break.

This time, the eldest brother cleared his throat and sat on the arm of the couch. "Initially, we thought your head hit something when you fell into the lake. But it turned out to be some sort of memory loss caused by trauma... doctors said it shocked and stressed you so much that your brain chose to block it."

She couldn't speak. What the hell was Areum supposed to say? This one single piece of news had managed to dig up so much and she was overwhelmed and yet thirsty for more at the same time. Her chest felt like exploding.

"They said the accident still exists in your head, just buried and difficult to retrieve." Hakyeon pointed at his temple and his expression was still flat. Areum needed it secretly, because worry and pity was a pathetic emotion to come from her brothers now. This was their fault, anyway.