Secret Thoughts (Yoonmin) [#wattys2017]

5

Chapter five: That day when Yoongi almost bled to death (part one)

At first, Jimin thought Yoongi was getting better.

He smiled more, he laughed a little, and he didn't spend weeks locked up in his studio. However, Jimin wasn't always with Yoongi and even when he was, he couldn't hear the voices Yoongi heard, nor what they said to him or what they made him think.

Yoongi tried not to show Jimin that he was still feeling awful, and even though he managed not to look like a broken piece of glass, when he was alone, all that falseness disappeared, and he would break into tears.

He learned to cry in silence. He learned to crack a smile that even though looked genuine was no were near real. He learned that people would always think you're okay if they see you smile eventually, and so, he did that in order not to worry the others.

Well, the others but Taehyung, because he couldn't care less if he worried the younger or not.

Besides it wasn't like the younger cared. Taehyung had been avoiding him ever since Yoongi told him he liked him, and though at first they were both avoiding each other because it was better for the two, a lot of time had passed since then and it looked like Taehyung had learn to live without having to deal with Yoongi.

Or at least that's what he thought.

The day Yoongi almost bled to death Taehyung and Hoseok had had a fight.

Everyone in the dorm had hear them shouting, but because Hoseok was crying and Taehyung was too angry to talk correctly, no one actually heard what the were fighting about. In the end they saw how Taehyung left the dorm in anger and Hoseok was left alone in his room, crying.

No one dared to say anything, and as time went by the environment began to feel more heavy.

Unlike what Yoongi had originally thought, he wasn't happy to see the couple fight that way, and instead he was one of the first to go talk to Hoseok.

The younger didn't tell Yoongi why the fought and Yoongi didn't ask, because he truly didn't care. All he did was put a hand on Hoseok's shoulder trying to comfort him.

And Hoseok appreciate it honestly.

After some time Hoseok said he wanted to be alone and so, Yoongi left. The moment he did so his phone rang and he was surprised to see that the caller was the one and only Kim Taehyung.

He walked inside his own room and answered lowly.

"What?"

"Can we talk?"

"Go to hell"

"Hyung, please"

"Taehyung, what you need to do is come back and talk to your boyfriend, not me"

"I know and I will but... I just need someone to talk to"

"Then call Jimin"

"He hates me now"

"I don't fucking care"

"Please"

And because Yoongi still had feelings for Taehyung, he ended up agreeing.

The met in front of a coffee shop near the dorm, and walked down the street in silence, but as time went by Yoongi began to get annoyed and snapped.

"The fuck do you want to talk about"

"About you liking me"

"That's in the past Taehyung, I don't like you anymore" he didn't even look at the younger as he said so.

"But I do" he said as he took Yoongi's chin delicately.

What happened next probably happened way too fast, but for Yoongi it all happened in slow motion.

With his hand on Yoongi's chin he leaned and kissed the older slowly. Yoongi tried really hard not respond to the kiss, and when the kiss ended Yoongi looked at Taehyung, anger and sadness covering his face, and pushed Taehyungs had away from his face.

"Fuck off"

"Hyung..."

"Look, don't mess with me, okay? I don't want to deal with you today" he paused "you know what? No, I don't want to deal with you ever again" he turned around ready to leave when Taehyung shouted.

"You're so stupid!"

"What?"

"I know you still like me! I'm telling you I like you as well why aren't you happy about it, huh?! You're an idiot! You know what? Just die already" Yoongi turned around and walked back to Taehyung looking at him directly in the eye.

"Don't worry, Tae, I'm probably going to die soon anyways"

**

He locked himself in his studio.

He took the broken piece of mirror and looked at it in pain.

He pressed it agains his skin, cutting.

One

Two

Three

When he got to ten he stopped counting.

It hurt. It really hurt.

Not the cuts but his heart.

It was burning.

After some time his sight began to blurry. He fell on his knees as he began to feel weaker. He thought about actually dying, and the thought made him some what happy and he hadn't felt happy in a very long time, so embracing the pain, he closed his eyes, slowly as he let the darkness consume him.