We Could Happen

CHAPTER EIGHT

My past memories keep on haunting me, ruining my daily life. I think we are all prisoners of our past; my past started some 5 years when I first met my love. I still remember when I first cast my sight on her as she was entering the office where I used to work. Although others may have only seen her looking more like a traditional religious type of person, I could feel the beauty of her eyes that attracted me; I could feel the aura of her personality. I was in love and I could hear the songs of innocence in my ears. As I watched her, I realized that she was the most captivating person that I had ever met. In that moment of silence, I could feel that my dream, which I had so long waited for, had finally come true and that I could finally live my life and it would last forever.
During the period she was with me, I could feel my heart beat against my chest giving me the best moment of my life. I had someone at least who loved me, cared for me. I still remember the pleasure of sitting by her side, listening to the musics or talking about the books of Dan Brown, the novels of Nicholas Sparks. We dreamt of Venice and Istanbul. We used to laugh a lot together.
I still remember all the dreams that were mine, all the infinite opportunities that had lighted my world brighter, all the days spent with my love, which seemed endless as if they would last forever and that tomorrow would never come. I would stay up late in the night talking to her on the phone and sometimes during the moment of silence I could hear the sound of her breathing and I would dream of her the whole night. It was the moment during which I felt so perfect that I could not have lived a better life. I remember laying my head on her lap letting the warmth of her body make me so comfortable. I could stay forever to hear her soft voice, to see the glinting of her eyes; her hair would twirl around my face and there was nowhere in the world where I could feel so happy. My life had suddenly become full of flowers, songs and all the ingredients of romance. Everything seemed beautiful. I loved the time of life during which we were together and promised to spend the rest of my life with her. I had never been in love before, but I never thought that this would eventually end in heartbreak.

After many days passed, my relationship with my girlfriend continued and same went as my cold relationship with her. That was when it happened. My best friends showed me a picture of my girlfriend kissing another man. I wanted to check if it was true so I asked her who the guy in the picture was. Felicity suddenly got quiet and said "I'm sorry... Can we break up? I mean like we can still be..." I didn't listen to the rest. It felt like a wave of emotion just slapped me on my face. Stunned, I slowly walked out of her room as her mom and sisters in the living room stared at me.

I cried and cried. I didn't get out of my room and kept on crying without eating, drinking and going to school. I felt like my heart was being broken to pieces..I kept on crying silently in darkness.

There was a timid knock on the door. I didn't respond. It was probably my mom worrying about how I wasn't eating or going to school. Then the door opened. It was Fel. Fel's face expression was a mixed emotion of shock and surprise. I don't know why but as soon as I saw her, I started crying all over again and Fel rushed over hugging me and comforting me.

After a few minutes, I stopped crying and started to feel a bit awkward about the point that she hugged me and was still hugging me now.

"Why did you come?" I asked.

"Because I was worried about you, you dumbass." Fel's answer was short but it made me smile for the first time in days and it must be my imagination but I saw her blushing.

After few months, Our relationship is doing well not until she told me that she will be visiting a relative in Canada for months... but our communication is constant, we chat through facebook and skype.

Not until,

her parents knocked on my door and told me that Felicity is gone and handed me a box of letter and said it belonged to me. As I opened the letter, I cried and cried over the first paragraph of the letter.

Dearest Jacob,

I've always loved you since the first moment I saw you. You were my meaning of life and I know that it was love at first sight when I saw you... I've been waiting to say this for a long time... I have cancer and I am dying. If you are reading this now that means I'm gone. but please promise me one thing. Will you go and continue living without me?

Then, there was a golden ring attached at the bottom of the letter. I put on the ring and cried over, over and over again in darkness. In darkness. Alone. With no Felicity. With emptiness.

I need to know what it takes for me not to see your face everyday, even when you're not around, I still see you as if your standing right next to me. My heart remains lifeless at the thought of losing your smile, the sound of your laughter, your tears, and the compassion that lies in your heart.

I don't want this feeling anymore, that I get in my heart, from seeing you without me. I need to fill that hole in my soul that I carry with me, from losing you, but I know that it will never go away...

But I have to. It's time for me to be happy again..