A Not So Perfect Life.

Boyfriend #2

Okay. This is really crazy. I started this year single, without friends, a non-cutter, and a blonde. Now I've had two boyfriends, two friends(or maybe just one), a cutter, and a brunette.

Funny how things can change so suddenly throughout the year. Things that you would've never even imagined happening before. Remember that boy named Chase, the one who sent me home crying? Well I was back together with him. I can't tell whether that's a good or bad thing. Chase and I had been dating for only about two days because well we did only just get together yesterday. I dread the day when I have to walk into school with Chase and have everyone stare at me because they were already all shocked that I managed to get one boyfriend this year nevertheless two.

They're probably thinking things on the lines of "What is a girl like doing with a guy like that?" "Who is that guy?" "Who would date someone as ugly as her?" Don't get me wrong. I'm wondering the same thing. Faith is probably going to end up stealing yet another one of my boyfriends. The worst part about this whole thing and I hate to admit it but Nathan is probably going to end up yelling at me some way or another. Wow, you'd think that I wouldn't be talking about all the things that I dread when in reality I'm the one who agreed to go out.

The truth is, is that I was still unsure about dating Chase. Being with him didn't feel absolutely right. It feels like I'm watching someone else date a hot guy instead of me actually dating him. He did indeed insult me and I still am not completely sure that I forgive him. Another thing is is that I have just been feeling a little lonely these days. Break-ups are not easy and I was beginning to really miss the absence of an arm always around me or arms wrapped around me or holding hands. You start to miss it after a while.

I gave Chase a second chance. Tonight he is supposed to be taking me to another fancy restaurant. I'm nervous about going to another resaurant. Isn't that where he broke my heart the first time? That night led to me and Nathan's first kiss which led to me being the happiest girl in the world to me being among the saddest.

No Becky. Stop thinking about Nathan. Move on already.

I walked into my bathroom, my feet feeling cold against the tile. I applied light make up on. I was wearing a light blue long, sleeve shirt with skinny jeans. My hair was in big curls around my neck.

Since Chase was going to be there any minute I decided to go outside on the porch and wait. That was sort of a mistake.

I saw Nathan in his front yard getting the mail. He didn't see me yet. Oh no. That feeling was coming again. That feeling of loneliness. It was definitely challenging to move on. Just staring at him made me feel nervous but right. Was this what was supposed to happen after a guy cheated on you? I hate to admit it but I really do miss him. Miss talking to him. Miss seeing him everyday without having to look away. Why did those bad things have to happen? This was one of those times when I wish I could go back in time so that I would be in that hall with him so he wouldn't have kissed Faith. It felt like I was on the verge of tears.

Stop, Becky. He cheated on you. You must move on. He probably never liked you.

Uh oh. He was turning around.

Look away, look away.

Too late. He saw me. He stopped in his tracks. I finally made eye contact with him. His eyes were still just as beautiful as always, his face still the cutest I'd ever seen, his hair still so perfect.

I then heard a honk and my date was here. I saw Nathan look back and forth between me and my date. He was probably wondering why I'd go out with that guy again. He narrowed his eyes at me one before walking back into his house. I then made my way across the lawn and made myself comfortable in Chase's car.