Unsure

Chapter 35

Justin's Point Of View:

"Justin please don't do this." Bella whispers and it takes every strength in my body to ignore her and stare motionlessly in front of me, shaking my head and letting out a deep sigh. She sighs too before walking over to sit next to me. "Justin." She shakes my arm and I look at her, sorrow filling my eyes. 

"I.." my voice cracks. "I don't know that I can do it. Watch you both be friends knowing what happened before. How do I know you won't cheat on me again?" I sound weak and pathetic but it's how I feel. How can I learn to trust them both again and especially learn to trust them together? Although it pains me to say it I know that Zayn must be just as in love with Bella as I am and she must be in love with him too; what if she's more in love with Zayn than me?

"Justin?" She asks and I realize I was so lost in my own thoughts and doubts that I didn't hear what she said to me. I look at her and she repeats herself. "I said I won't, Justin. Yes I did love Zayn and we did have something together but it was in the past. He's special to me and I need him to be a part of my life. Even if it's just as a friend."

I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. The fact that she needs Zayn so badly makes my heart ache and only thinks that I, am not enough for her. Although she is enough for me I am not enough for her and that physically kills me and makes me feel like shit. 

I stand from the bed and grab a shirt and a jacket. I don't know where I'm planning to go but I can't stay here and need to get away from this shit. I need some time to think about everything and consider whether Bella loves me the way I deeply and truly love her. 

"I need time." My voice is quiet and my tone blunt as I grab my dorm key and head for the door. 

"Please don't leave, Justin." I hear her call as I walk out of the door, letting it shut behind me. 

Bella's Point Of View:

Justin leaves me alone in my dorm and I lay back, my head sinking into his mattress. Being alone makes me feel uneasy, especially after what happened last night and knowing that Riley knows exactly where this dorm is. 

How could Justin just leave me alone? 

I decide that I'd rather be anywhere else but in this dorm alone right now. But where could I even go? I suddenly remember Louisa giving me her number and telling me to call her if she wants to hang out sometime. Without a second thought I diall her number.

"Hello?" She asks, obviously confused at a random number calling her. 

"Hey Louisa." I smile, "It's Bella. I just wondered if you wanted to hang out?"

"Oh hey Bella!" She squeals, "Sure! I'd love to. Do you want to go somewhere to eat and then to a bar? I know some great ones!" She seems excited, "If Justin's okay with it of course!"

"Sure" I answer cheerfully without considering Justin's opinion. I decide that being taken and going to a bar isn't the smartest idea but he's not in control of me and if I go to a bar, maybe I can prove to him that I will stay faithful to him, drunk or sober.

"Great!" She chirps, "Meet me at my dorm at 7.30. I'm residence hall B and room 104! Bye!" She hangs up and I check the time. 6.30pm. I decide to take a shower and quickly get ready before making my way to Louisa's dorm, grabbing some heels, a cute dress and my makeup bag along the way. I don't bother leaving a note for Justin; he probably won't come home tonight anyway. 

I take a deep breath and knock on the door. Louisa answers it with a huge grin covering her face. "Hey Bella!" She smiles and hugs me. 

"Hey." I return her smile and spot a girl with long dark hair sitting on one of the two beds in the room. Louisa's room is much like my old room, with just two small beds, a chest of drawers, a sink, and a mirror. The girl looks up and smiles shyly. She's really pretty.