Band-Aids On Bruises

Flashback

[Swearing again. Sorry.]

'I'm such an idiot.'

The words repeat in my head over and over as I drive home in silence. When I get there, the house is empty. I trudge up to my room and lie on my bed, letting a few tears make their way down my face.

'Did I do something wrong? I must have.' I roll on my side and stare at the wall.

'Maybe I misread the signs. Maybe Dustin might have liked me at one point, and now he doesn't?'

I sigh.

'Maybe he never even liked me. Maybe he acted like he did so he didn't hurt my feelings?'

More tears fall down my face.

'Maybe...maybe it was all me. I'm so stupid. He never liked me back, and I misread all the signs. I got caught up in my own feelings that I was oblivious to how he was feeling. I made up the idea that he could or did like me back, and tried to turn it into a reality.'

I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my head with my hands, full out crying now.

'I took advantage of him at this time. I'm no better than Tyler... he probably hates me now.'

The memory of Dustin's face back at the parking lot was painful, but it began replaying over and over in my head, flickering in front of my eyes.

'I didn't bother thinking... and when Tyler had him, I never stopped to think about his feelings... I'm so stupid.'

I allow my mind to replay the memory's of just a few hours prior.

[Flashback]

I threw the doors open as I stormed into the entrance room. The cop who Dustin was talking to earlier is standing at the door, and he turns to look at me, a confused look on his face.

"You okay kid?" he asks.

I walk past him without saying a word. I stomp into the parking lot and over to the side of the building and punch the wall, the cop still watching me. My hand bleeds at the knuckles, but I don't care and punch the wall again and again.

I yell and curse as I attack the innocent wall, until I have no more energy. I rest my head against the cool bricks and breath, trying to calm myself.

"What seems to be the problem buddy?" I hear from behind me, and feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see the cop, offering me a small smile.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired of everything and all the lies."

He looks rather unsatisfied with my answer, but nods anyways.

"I-I mean, it's just-"

"I get what you mean. I'm just thinking, if you can barely stand it, how do you think Dustin's feeling?"

My face pales "Oh. Oh shit! I should be there for him!" the officer removes his hand and we walk back to the front doors.

Just as we arrive at the doors, I hear yelling and shouting. I turn and look out across the street. A car has crashed nearby, and it's beginning to burn. A cluster of people have crowded around it.

"Crap!" the cop yells and begins to run towards the car "You stay here!" he shouts back at me as I begin to follow him, then pulls out a handheld radio "Officer Johnson here, car crash right out front. I need some of you here."