Band-Aids On Bruises

Determined

[Another Week Later]

I take deep breathes as I wake up and clench the sheets of my bed, trying my best to not fall into another panic attack. These nightmares hadn't stopped yet, and I needed to get them under control. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel a few tears drip down my face, focusing my mind on anything other than these 'dreams'.

Finally, I manage to relax and I'm able to get up and walk to the desk in my room. I open one of the folders that are lying on it and pull out a calendar. I flip it open to today and grab a marker that's sitting on my desk as well. I draw a large check mark in the middle of the page and put it back into the folder.

I sigh 'A good way to start the week though. Maybe I'm getting better at controlling my thoughts? It's possible that I will be able to fully erase all the bad thoughts from my head and not have any more panic attacks.'

I trudge downstairs and begin making coffee for myself. I've been trying to cut down on my caffeine intake, drink less coffee and try to sleep more, but I haven't been doing the best job at that. I have been getting a bit more sleep though, sleeping pills have become like my best friend, and I'm making sure that I never have too many in one night. Nightmares have still been prominent though. I read online that dreams and nightmares are created by life experiences and thoughts that have been in our heads during the day, so I've been trying not to think about him or any memories of the party, but to no avail.

I now start every morning with watching the sun rise.

Later, as I'm getting ready for school, there's a knock on the door. I'm pulling on my sweater as I hear my mum walk to the door and open it, then there's a bit of chatter and I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I exit my room and walk to the bathroom, completely ignoring the person on the stairs.

I begin brushing my teeth as I hear a cough, but I just roll my eyes and continue with what I was doing.

"Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well?"

I choose to ignore the question then glance over at the doorway and do my best not to spit toothpaste everywhere as I laugh. Fisher's leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, looking completely mangled. His hair can't seem to make up it's mind on how it wants to look, half of it is stuck to his face and dripping water, and the other half is sticking up in random directions, making him look like a wet porcupine. His clothes are soaked even though it's only a short walk from his house to mine, and his hoodie is hanging loosely from his arms while his jeans are sticking to his legs. Lastly, there's dark brown markings all over his face and clothes.

"What happened to you?" I mumble as I finish cleaning my teeth.

"It's raining a lot harder than I thought it was."

"No duh Sherlock. A more detailed explanation please."

Fisher sighs and I look over to see him rubbing his neck and blushing in embarrassment.

"Come on. You got to tell me now." I say and walk over to him, examining his clothes.

"I... uh...."

"Why didn't you just get a ride to school?" Fisher blushes even harder and I groan. "You don't have to make sure I'm okay every morning!"

Fisher has been coming over to my house every single morning now, no matter the weather, just to make sure that I'm okay. He makes sure that I don't have to wait for him, but since he doesn't know when I'm ready to go, he comes over extremely early and doesn't bother to think about texting me or anything. It's extremely stupid, I remind him of that every morning, but it's also kind of sweet. I'm never telling him that though.