There was someone I was watching. He'd stolen something from me and I intended on getting it back. The man walked with broad shoulders and a white suit. Around his wrist was a watch of gold, also mine. That didn't matter though. What he had stolen from me was much more precious.
Around his neck was a necklace that held a ring. The ring that I had gotten for Joker so long ago. It had an emerald stone in it the round ring was gold and thick. I knew he would like it. How this man got it is what makes me so confused. There's no way he could've gotten it unless he went into my old apartment from when I was working with Lex. If that's the case, when did he get in there and why would he go in there?
I had a gun propped up and my eyepiece on night vision. The suit was not helping me fight the cool air of tonight. That didn't make me stop doing the job I had to do, my shaking shoulders did nothing but proved that it's cold. I fixed my gun on the man and right before I shot, his men came in. They ruined everything! Now I had others to kill and I didn't want to do that to begin with. I don't know if this was going to work. My shots had to be fast and accurate to make sure this worked. Seven shots.
There was only one way to figure out if this would work or not. My chances were 50/50 so I took my best aim and put it to the test. As fast as I could, I shot. Seven shots. Seven men were down and I sprung into the on-field action. All my stuff was packed and then I went out to the men and saw their bodies, limp. The man who had stolen the ring was still alive, barely breathing. I kneeled down and yanked the ring off. "I don't know why you thought you'd get away with stealing from me." Then I got up and started to leave.
A presence around me caused me to stop in my tracks. It didn't feel right and I knew it wasn't J. There was a part of me that wanted to turn around and shoot but a smell reached my nostrils that make me think twice. My feet stopped and I sighed. The all too familiar smell of plants that captivated my sense in a world of bliss was engulfing me. A hand came to my shoulder and I almost felt ashamed to be seen like this by her. This was my friend and I betrayed her.
A light and gentle squeeze came to my should and caused me to turn around. "Hello, Pamela..." The shake in my voice made it too obvious for my nervous behavior.
She looked hurt and surprised. "Why do you do this? What is making you so mad?" Her voice was pleading and she had a right to answer. I just didn't know how I could say it to make her feel better.
"Joker and I have split and something in me.... explodes with these feels of awe and, well, I don't even know how to describe it. I feel free. As to what's making me so mad.... me." A tear was threatening to spill out of my eye and it took everything in my to fight it. That however, did not happen. My head went down in shame.
Pamela's hand went to my face, lifting it up and caressing the tear off of my cheek. "You can't run away from everything you're scared of and you can't fight everything you love." I'd wish she gotten it all wrong. She needed to believe she did.
My heart raced and out of panic I shouted at her. "I don't love him!" Before everything could come out, her hand was put up and a small smile was put onto her lips. It confused me to see her mood change so suddenly and after I yelled at her. "Darling, you don't kill a man for taking your "ex" lovers ring for just no reason. Keep yourself safe and come by if you ever need anything." Pamela has defeated me and I felt so small. Yet, for some reason, I felt I needed to hear it all. Having her tell me that I've fucked up makes me want to stop. It's the whole fact that I feel that I am in too deep.
Pamela walked away and I did the same, putting my stuff under the seat of my motorcycle and my gun in a sling on my back. The drive home would be fast and I would want nothing to think about.
So, when I got home and felt the exhaustion take over my body, I went to my room. There was nothing special about it. The walls were grey and the bed was puffy and white. The floors were wooden and I had a chair in the corner. Just like the rest of the nice looking warehouse. It took a lot to get it to where it is today and I'm very proud of me and my men.
I slipped out of my suit and put my sleepwear on. As I climbed into the bed,in got the rind. I studied the whole thing, every crevasse from the tiny letters saying 'King' on both sides. The green emerald had not a single scratch on it and it made me think that either the man had gotten the ring around the same day that I had went to my old apartment for valuables or maybe he just took care of things.
I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not in some crazy people love with Joker. For someone who had anger, PTSD out the ass, and uncontrollable urges to kill whoever I desire, I still felt love. My love was centered on animals, Pamela, Selina, Harley, and Joker. Maybe even Todd who has been working for Joker since before I could remember.
My love was more than words could describe when it came to Joker. Even though we fight and we are mad and pissed off at each other, I love him. The night I left, I knew I was ruining myself. Fear had taken over my body and I wish I had stayed when all of that happened. There's never been so much drama in my life before all of this. How am I going to fight the man that I left because he was angry at me? Why would I fight the one who I loved because I messed up? Fear has once again consumed me and it made me angry to think I have possibly ruined everything.
I didn't want to go to him unless he showed me I was allowed. The man is unpredictable and even though I know he wouldn't kill me or hurt me on purpose, I do believe his emotions towards me coming back could be bad and he may hurt me on accident. This needed to be a slow process and something had to happen to show that I was willing to come back into his arms.
