I'm not a coward, just shy (Hogwarts fanfic)

ch 11 - where's the real snape

I winced as George wiped my cut up hands with rubbing alcohol, Trying to pull it away.

"Stop struggling unless you want to go to the Hospital Wing" George pull my hand back. I was sat on his bed, turned towards him and the open first aid Kit Mrs Weasley had forced into Fred's Trunk.

"It strings" I mumbled. "Is it ok if I sleep here tonight, I don't want to go back to my dorm" l asked looking at George's hands as they started to wrap my fingers in bandages.

"Does bother me" Lee said from where he had been laying on his bed, reading so sort of quidditch magazine.

"Does Ron even know what he has done" Fred paced. He was still fuming, his ears burning and his muttering under his breath.

"Do you think this Matt Grey will be able to fix it" George taking a hold of my chin to look at my tooth.

"Dumbledore said he doesn't know but... It just has to work. " I felt tears threaten to spill over again.

"I am sure that it will" George surprised me in pulling me into a hug. After a few moments, i pulled back wiping my eyes.

"Thanks for everything, What do say to a game of exploding snapped" I tried to lighten the mood. Reluctantly Fred joined in along with Lee and George.

I slept fitfully that night, the kind of where you feel like you were awake the whole time. Hermione and I went to breakfast early knowing Ron would sleep till the latest possible. Word had spread round the Gryffindor common room, so Hermione already knew and I was sure by the time lunch rolled around the whole school would know. It was impossible to keep anything a secret anymore, especially a fight and the bruise on my cheek and lip had darken considerably. By the time I had nibbled on some toast and drank two cups of second and was starting to feel human, I saw Ron enter the great hall. So did the whole Gryffindor table and I could feel eyes watching the exchange they knew was going to happen. Hermione and I stood up. She wasn't on either Harry or Ron's side but she was on mine. I walked quickly out of the hall and it wasn't until I got out of the hall did Ron mange to catch up.

"Taylor, Please wait, I didn't mean too-"

"I don't want to heard it from you" I snarled not stopping.

"It was just the closing thing to me- I didn't see what it was until it was too late, You have got to believe me-" He kept trying.

"I am not in the mood Ron" I said trying to kept my composer, as I made my way to Potions even though it was an hour before the class started.

"Taylor, Just wait a minute-" He tried gripped my sleeve and snatched it away so his fingers only grazed the fabric, Turning on him like a viper. We were now in a part of the school which was abandoned at this time.

"You broke one of the only things that is keeping me sane, because you wanted attention not even thinking about how your friends might be telling the true. Harry never asked for his family to be murdered and I never asked for this curse" I pointed at my head. "You would be driven mad, crazy, insane, round the fucking bend if you spend a day in my brain, So own up to your mistakes and stop acting like a five age old." I hissed at him. "there are something even magic can't fix" All my rage left me with that outburst, knowing one day I might very well be in the Looney bin. Where my mind had been broken down so much that it was nothing but static. I left him in the corridor, descending the stairs to the dungeons.

The door was open and I could see Snape sitting at his desk. I nodded still trying to compose myself.

"May I come in sir, I realise I am a bit early but I don't want to go back to the great hall or common room, it's too noisy" I asked. He looked up taking in my state.

"You may" He said in the same droning tone, which never seemed to change. Some that never changed was a rarity in my eyes. There was my Guitar, Snape's voice and the non-stop static, just like a drone. Without further instruction I made my way quickly to my normal seat. Taking a random text book.

"Is everything alright?" He asked seeming somewhat reluctant. My chuckling turned into a full blow fit of the giggles.

"Alright" My voice cracked still laughing, "Oh, I feel like I am going mental, Round the bend" I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Would this have something to do with Fight with Mr Weasley".

"You know about that" I said sheepishly.

"The walls have ears and the portraits have nothing better to do than gossip" He said as if he had just eaten something disgusting. I chuckled but my heart wasn't in it.

"It's not just that, I keep making mistakes, Stupid ones too. I should have been able to warn Harry and Dumbledore. I should have been able to save my guitar. I keep letting people down because I am so weak" The word tasted bitter in my mouth. I Knew one day that was what I was going to become. Weak.

"You're not weak, Taylor, Your human" I looked up to meet Snape's eyes. His eyes were like pools of shifting ink. They seemed to swirl into iris and pupil, neither mixing but coming together. He slowly picked up his quill and the parchment he had been writing on. "There is a different, though many can't see it because the damage is done." He snapped his quill though the parchment, making me inhale sharply. "However even though the affects reversible..." He pulled the quill from the paper and it began to knit itself back together. "..there can be scars, you for example."

"Me?" I said confused.

"That night when you were attacked by that- Your godfather", He said thinking, "You don't hold it against him even though you were disfigured"

"That was different, he wasn't himself, I had to forgive him-"

"That's my point" Snape interrupted. "Mr Weasley and Yourself are family are you not?"

"He's my brother" I stated still not catching on.

"Siblings fight all the time, my point is that you should forgive. You don't have to Forget but you should forgive. Yourself and Mr Weasley" I was shocked to say the least, In Snape's dull drone he sounded like he was being compassionate. I smiled at Snape.

"Who are you and What have you done with the Real Professor Snape"