Ch 19- After math

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I woke my eyes sore and stuck together from crying and sleep. George, Lee and Fred where all up and about. I had a stinking feeling in my gut tell me that today wasn't going to be a good day at all. The memories of the previous night haunted me like the visions that haunted my waking hours. It was in these times when life's unfairness seemed to string at your open wounds, letting jealousy fester. I made use of my time taking notes and perfecting the fever fudge recipe. It had been straight forward enough but I read pepper would make the fever that little higher.

Lee was the only one who really stayed in the dorm, leaving and the returning with tales of revenge that Fred and George had conducted around the school. They did make me smile but at the same time it was like a dagger being slowly driven into to me. It made me wonder about the human soul and how we are connected to the funny little thing called love. How it brings out the best and worst in us. Make us share the deepest parts of our hearts and at the same hide anyway our secrets behind an iron fortress. An unstable stale set into motion.

In a strange way this made me think of lycanthropy. If my theory of lycanthropy being a physical version of multiple personalities disorder, maybe the emotions of the werewolf in question give them some level of control. This was probably on an extremely small level and the potion, Wolfsbane, could heighten this emotion the the werewolf might not be aware of. Say an emotion like anger in the soul of the human werewolf could reflected in the transformed werewolf. In the cause of uncle Lupin, because he is a gentle and kind person the werewolf is the complete opposite. My head spun with possibilities and I wrote a carefully worded letter to my dad and Lupin and asked there opinion on the matter. Using Harry's owl, Hedwig, with permission.

He seemed worried when I spoke to him but I refused to let it show. Harry had far greater things to worry about them my ridiculous excuse for a love life. I had just 14 and I had very quickly seen the fault in trying to make a romantic relationship out of what we had. Sure I had fallen for Cedric faster than the snow could pile against the castle walls. It is possible that I had fallen in love with the idea of him or him as Cedric or maybe the line between them wasn't so defined. It could be entirely possible that I was just trying to keep my mind from collapsing in on its self.

However so, I found myself up against one of the many Hogwarts castle window sills, tucked away from the world as the night closed it. Curfew wasn't for another hour but the cold had force the others into the comfort of there common rooms but not me. I watched the calming of the winter snow, wrapped in a cave of a warm blanket I borrowed from the common room. As it fall the snow muffled all sound and if I focused hard enough it wound even mute the static in my head. I continue to hum to myself, a lullaby for a time I don't quite remember.

(I can't help falling in love by elvis cover by twenty one pilots)
"Wise men say" I sang quietly.
" only fools rush in,
but I can't help
falling in love with you" my breath clouded in front of me, as if the hot breath was being suffocated the cold draft while I stayed warm in the make shift without seat.

"Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you" I trailed off, my voice suffocating. I buried my face in the blanket

"Are you alright?" A familiar voice asked. I looked up at Draco Malfoy, who looked like a very reluctant asker.
"Fine, why to you ask" lying though my teeth, waiting for the goons he always had to jump out at me.
"I saw cho kissing Cedric in the gardens" he rubbed the back of his neck. I had never seen Draco like this, he seemed more nervous and on edge than me and he had lost some of his confidence.
"Oh... Yeah. Have you come to gloat, rub it in face" I asked my words were bitter but didn't had the hit I wanted them too which annoyed me. "If so I am not in the mood".
"No, no- I actually wanted to say- or asked, it was you singing- yesterday I mean" I felt my blood run cold.
"So what if it was" I said getting defensive. He put up his hands, more of a reflex than anything else.
"I won't tell anyone, everyone hasn't clue on at all because their idiots" Draco said regaining some of his arrogance. "Look I am just saying that you have talent. I can respect that" he folded his arms. "Anyway, that all I came to say, I wasn't even looking for you, so don't get the wrong idea, I wouldn't be caught dead talking to a weird girl like you" he stuck his nose in the air and before I could say another word he was gone leaving me very confused and wondering if I hadn't dreamed up the whole. For some reason I had a strange bubble in my stomach and it made me want to laugh.

I returned to the common room to my second surprise of the date. It was Cedric, Fred and George out side the entrance.
"I just want to see him!" Cedric shouted looking angry and frustrated.
"Why in bloody hell, would he like to see your sorry ass, pretty boy" Fred said said fired up.
"Yeah beat it, unless you want to know why we are called beaters" George added. I sucked in a breathe not hesitating before walking straight towards the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.
"Taylor....Taylor! Wait, please let me explain" he said and I knew Fred and George were holding him back.
"You might as well hold your breath, I have seen every excuse you have come up with and I know the truth. You started out just wanting to be friends and then you realised you could get ahead twi-wizard tournament with my help but you didn't think of Dumbledore precautionary measures but you played along anyway" I said and it was silent behind me. I refused to let him see my face and I refused to look at him. "I don't even want to look at you". I didn't say anything else, just entered the common with Fred and George hot on my heels.

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