I'm not a coward, just shy (Hogwarts fanfic)

Book 5 CH 1- broken hearts

It was just after dinner and it had been tense. Fred and George had played a prank Percy casting spells on all his stuff to flip them onto the ceiling. They were enjoying their new magic freedom and Apparated even the shortness of distances. This didn't annoy anyone more than Percy. Percy had always seemed to hate me but now even more so and if I simply meet him in the corner he looked at me like I was something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. I took care of the plates and began to wash them in the sink and Mrs Weasley forced Percy to dry instead of standing still like a log. Static had been building in my ears, which basically felt like pressure pooping in your ears. I had come to know this as a sigh I would get a certain message from the static. It was normally just a few words, normally on harry, as the future seemed to surround him.

Smash!

A plate slipped from my hand where I thought Percy was, White porcine shards erupting on the floor. I cursed myself.

"Sorry, I wasn't focusing" I said taking a table cloth to carefully put the shards onto.

"Don't be it was an accident-" Mrs Weasley never finished her sentence.

"You idiot!" Percy erupted from nowhere his composer shattering like the plate. "Can't You do anything right" He shouted with an unreal fury, leaving me a little baffled and confused.

"Percy, Don't shout at your brother like that!" Mrs Weasley's anger started to crackle too.

"HE isn't my brother" He stabbed his finger at me and at that I stood up leaving the shards be for the moment. It strung me and I hid my eyes with my messy black hair, so unlike the fiery red that the Weasley's had. "And he never will be, he is just a sob story you took pity on. He isn't my brother."

"Not Biologically, but he is as much a part of his family as you are" Mr Weasley said.

"He will never be a part of this family" Percy Growled. "

"Your just jealous because has an magic you'll never have, no matter how much studying you do" Fred growled right back, Ginny grabbing a hold of his arm, so he would do it anything stupid.

"We shouldn't be fighting, We He who must not be named out there we need-" Mr Weasley started.

"Hogwash!" Percy shouted, "Dumbledore is a senile old man and the papers are right and Harry is lying, Cedric's death was an accede-" He shout but it was my turn to start shouting. It was like I saw red and suddenly I thought I was going to punch him.

"DON'T YOU EVEN DARE!" I barked and I surprised myself with the volume of my own voice. I happened shouted at anyone before. growling and scared of what I might do next I left the kitchen and went up to my shared room with Ron. I paced looking for something to punch and I ended up screaming into my pillow instead.

I heard more shouting from down stairs and the front down slamming. I carefully I pulled my watch from inside my t-shirt, opening it and letting the music wrap me in its arms and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I closed my eyes and let the music take me away back to the days we spend in the room of requirement, to the time he pulled me from the water, the time he fulfilled his promised dance. If I focused I could still feel his lips on mine. I snapped the watch shut and pulled myself up, holding my head in my hands. I ended up pulling out my potions book, my escape from everything. I could look for Weasley wizard wheezes idea or corrected the mis-instructions, But even now my escape couldn't help me. I had never angry and pissed and I wanted to scream. My heart pursed with a hurt but there was no wound and I wasn't able to swallow. In an emotion I cannot describe I stood up and throw my book at the door and it gave a loud thud . 4 years ago, I would have never felt this way, I had closed myself off, locked away my emotions, became the shell you need to be in the wreathed world. Then I began to let people in, the Weasley, Hermione, Harry, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Cedric... Cedric. I stink to the floor next to my bed, Pulling my foot to my chest. Love is a cruel emotion. It draws you in with the promise of happiness which could shatter whenever the time was right.

Mr and Mrs Weasley had stopped getting any kind of newspaper or they did and hide it from me very well. There was always a smell of burning when I came down stair which may suggested the way in which they destroy the poor paper. On top of that, Cedric's murder had hit me like the Hogwarts Express. I hadn't left the burrow In days, stopped writing to harry and Hermione and refused to leave my bed for weeks on end. I would get nosebleeds which had turned out to be anemia which Madam Pomfrey was sure was a side effect of gift and she had put me on medication to help me, plus the fever, flu, cold and sleep medication, I swear we were a few pain killers away from a pharmacy. Sometimes I wish I had never been born.

There was a knock at the door and before I could answer, George enter, a flash of red hair telling me most likely the others were waiting outside and George had come to test the waters.

"Taylor... Don't listen to that git" He said beginning to get fired up. He didn't understand.

"It's alright" I mumbled into my knees, "That wasn't what I got mad about" I continued and I decided against my better judge, I would open up further.

"Why does it hurt so much?" I was surprised on how broken I sounded. "I see peoples deaths every day, I bet if I focus I could tell someone when they would die, but I-I couldn't save him and now I hurts and I could make it stop" I was trembling. I felt George eyes on me and he got down on the floor and pulled me into his arms.

"You haven't been dealt hand in life have you" He thought allowed before sighing, "It hurts to you won't forget. Over time the pain you feel now will number but it won't go away completely so you remember him" He said, "Does that make sense" I nodded into Fred's jumper which they had switched to confuse Mrs Weasley.

"Thank you, I understand" And I felt very tired, so, so tired of everything. So I closed my eyes and it wasn't long before sleep over came me.