A Summer Of Songs.

chapter 12

Listen to this- fearless by Taylor swift xxxxx

I look at the text one last time before sending it to Blaze, I mostly wanted his to listen to the lyrics- ‘And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless’ I knew it was a girly song but we had been sending songs to each other trying to describe out feelings and there was an amazing moment when I found a song that described it completely and I could send it to him and he sent one back it had all started when he had made me listen to never gonna be alone by nicklebacks in the car on the way to work a few weeks ago, I could hardly believe it had been a month since I had met blaze in the shopping centre. I couldn’t wait for tonight Blaze had said he had a surprise for me. I had no idea what was going through his head, to be honest I never had any idea of what was going through his head, most of the time it was complete nonsense.

He was picking me up from the shopping centre at the bench where we first sat at 7 ‘o’ clock it was 6’o’clock and Faith was giving me a lift at half 6, I had half an hour on Skype with June with her fussing over how nice I looked and how bored she was in America without me there to make her laugh. Half 6 came quicker than I thought and before long June was pointing out the time and wish me luck I said good bye and closed my laptop.

“faith, are you ready? Its half 6” I called down

“okay okay okay don’t you want a coat? It looks like its going to rain No okay then lets go” said faith jingling her car keys at me. I jumped down from my bed and we left the house with shouts of good byes.

The car ride was uneventful with only Faiths horrid singing along with the radio as our only entertainment

“okay so give me a ring if you need a lift home” she said as we stopped and I got out she lent over to my seat to talk to me “otherwise have fun and stay safe if you feel un-“ I cut her off by closing  the door and she sat up and drove off.

I looked at my watch it was 5 to 7 he might be there. It was unlikely but that would be a surprise in its self. I walked towards the shopping centre entrance going against the crowds that were leaving.

Someone put their arm in front of me “sorry were closing up now” said a gruff looking security guard

“but… but im meeting someone” I stammered how was I going to meet blaze now

“sorry they will be being kicked out now too” he said “I cant let you in company policy”

I walked away stunned, I tried ringing blaze it went right to answer phone, I stood outside the entrance, if he was going in or out I would be able to see him this way.

I looked at my phone it was 5 past 7 he should be here by now, maybe he’s late like usual I will wait until half 7 I thought still ringing him over and over just waiting for the phone to click and him to say hes on his way where I will run towards Florida and see him and be pulled into a huge hug.

7:15. nothing. everyone had left by now I could feel the tears starting to gather in my eyes.

7:20. still nothing I found my self scanning the car park in case I just hadn’t noticed florida. I rang him again and again leaving voicemails asking where he was I could hear the pain in my voice

7:25. he wasn’t coming. I couldn’t stop the tears now they were pouring down my face. I just wanted to sit on the floor and curl up crying.

7:30. thanks for the GREAT one month anniversary was just BRILLIANT standing like an IDIOT outside the shopping centre, waiting for YOU. SO THANKS SO MUCH THAT!  I text him and left.

It started to rain as I walked home. It’s funny how the weather can show your emotions exactly. I didn’t want to ring Faith and ask for a lift after only half an hour I couldn’t face her right now and her questions. I had no where to go I didn’t want to go home I couldn’t go to Lees or Blazes so I ended up just walking around in the rain on my own the tears running down my face blending in with the rain. The cars were driving past me splashing me with the water from puddles gathering on the sides of the roads but for once I didn’t care. The people in the cars were probably looking at me wondering if I was a girl who had lost her way or if I was just walking home in the rain from a day out. I turned down a small side road where there were less cars going past to splash me. I wished I had taken Faiths advise and worn a coat so I had a hood but I didn’t care about the rain making my short red hair wet I just wanted something to cover my face so that I didn’t feel like everyone was looking at me. The occasional car was still going past some of them were nice enough to swerve around the puddles so as not to splash me. Then I heard a car slow down to my walking speed I glanced over and saw Florida with Blaze sitting in the driving seat looking very sorry for him self. He wound down the window and put his hand out as if he was expecting me to take it get in the car and forgive him. I didn’t I just kept walking.

“hope” he said. I just kept walking “please” I just kept walking “listen to me” I just kept walking “its not what you think”

“you left me blaze” I said and he went silent for a while

“but I came back didn’t i?” he said after a while

“a bit to late” I said still walking

“to late for what? what so you’re just going to forget me? ignore me? What about the laughing in the rain? What about watching the sun set? What about all the songs? What about going home with a grin on your face? What about the singing in the food court? What so that means nothing to you?”

“no Blaze it means everything to me you mean everything to me” I stopped turning to him. He had to stop Florida suddenly. “BUT YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME I OBVIOSLY DON’T MEAN AS MUCH TO YOU”

“hope please you mean everything to me don’t leave me I cant lose you please hope” I said tears running down his face. The only other time I had seen him cry was when we were in his room and we were dancing like crazy people and he rugby tackled me onto the bed and we sat and laughed with tears running down our faces. How is it possible that the person who made me that happy can also make me this sad. “at least let me drive you home, you must have been walking from about an hour you will catch a cold” I looked down at my watch it was 8:15

“im fine I will be going home now I don’t need your lift I can walk” I said as I started walking again. I heard the engine cut out and the door open. His feet splashed in a puddle as he landed and I could hear his feet splash as he ran towards me.

“hope you will catch your death please let me take you home” he said putting his hand on my shoulder

“leave me alone Blaze” I said shrugging his hand off. He ran back to the car. I thought maybe he had decided to leave me alone. I saw Florida go past. I felt almost sad he hadn’t fought for me and instead he had just given up and left me when he stopped again just in front of me and he got out with the big jumper he had on before in his arms. He was shivering in his shorts sleeved top, he was giving up his own warmth for me. He waited until I got close to run up to me and put the jumper over my shoulders I was too cold to decline it

“I’ll be seeing you around hope. Don’t think I’ve given up though” he said as he ran back to Florida and set off.