EIGHTEEN (H.S)

22- Harry's POV

I hadn't heard from her. I hadn't heard from her for couple of months now. And I'd never felt so empty. My life, my heart, were sore because of the emptiness that had invaded my life.

It was surprising me, the effect it had on me, on my own sanity, that she was in my life or not. Too bad I realized I needed her with me, too late.

People would say I was surrounding by amount of people. So I couldn't suffer from loneliness. But having the closest ones towards you is the most important in life, they are the people you love, you value and need the most. When one of them is missing, it's your whole life that suffers. And I had only a few, my family and true friends. I could count them on my hand fingers.

It was killing me inside, not seeing her. Not seeing her beautiful chestnut doe eyes, and perfect cute little smile. I was missing everything of her. The way she put her hair behind her shoulder when it's bugging her. I was even missing the sound of her angelic voice and cutest laugh.

But for her sake, I had to disappear from her life, at least for a while. The damage that I'd done were important, and it was my duty to let her heal, to let her move on, and live her life. It was quite double or nothing, but it was worse it. And it wasn't like I had another option. I had to prey, that eventually, she would come back to me, as she belongs to me.

For once, I wasn't selfish. I put her needs first, and mine behind, on hold. It hadn't been easy. It was not something I was used to. All these years I'd been touring, and being a rock star, everyone was putting my needs first, I had all I asked and wanted. And I forgot what it was like, to not have everything you want, in a click of the fingers. This would take time. But I was willing to wait. It was worse the wait.

Of course, deep down, I was hoping that she could forgive me. That we could talk, and fix this. And that it wouldn't take too long. That it would be easier.

How stupid was I?

For years, I kept avoiding what I felt, what I truly felt about her. Maybe I wasn't sure. I wasn't mature enough to recognize that I loved her. I was a typical guy of my age, and didn't want to put any effort in a relationship, being exclusive and all.

My life was so easy, and it changed so fast. Since X- Factor everything had changed. I was just a kid when I left home, I lost all my bearings. I did my best not to change. But I changed, how couldn't I ?

For years, I was busy working, travelling all over the world, performing on stage in amazing venues and stadiums. It had been incredible, and quite surreal. So many times my mother told me that she was so proud, that it never stopped, and she felt that sometimes her heart could burst because of everything I had achieved, and accomplished. I was so proud, to be able to take care of my family, to let them safe, financially.

My life had changed. And I changed.

I didn't change bad though. Thankfully, my mother taught me to be kind and respect people.

I was proud, being able to take care of my family, my mother and sister could do whatever with their lives and not worry about money anymore. And I was known for treating people correctly, with manners. So how did I end up hurting Emma so bad?

Everywhere I went, there was a bunch of fans waiting for me. Imagine your life, when you just go out with friends, and people started crying, yelling your name, taking pictures of you.

I loved it. I loved every second of what I lived, and could never express how grateful I was. But when it came to love, or serious relationship, it didn't help.