Septiplier One-Shots

Luck of the Irish

"Motherf-"  

The small purple Volkswagen ran the light, hitting a green-haired gentleman and sending him tumbling across the hood. The car immediately halted, and a young woman got out.

"Sir, are you alright?!" she questioned, appearing more frightened than the victim.

"Of fuckin' course not! You hit me! With a car!"

"I'm so sorry! You're- you... You seem ok, considering what just happened." she said, in utter disbelief.

After quickly examining himself, the man replied, "I suppose..."

As the woman continued to apologize, a handsome guy with fluffy, black-and-red hair got out of the car and rushed over.

"Are you alright?"

The man's deep voice sent chills down Jack's spine. Without even realizing, he found himself checking the guy out. He first noticed the bulging muscles and abs. Then the stubble. Then the bulg-

Stop, Jack. He's taken. And straight...

"Huh? Oh! Yes, I'm just grand."

Not noticing, the sexy man helped Jack up. The two stared into each other's eyes before they were startled and snapped back into reality by the female, who's tone rang out, frantic and stressed.

"Damn it! I'm late for work. I'll hail a cab or find an Uber or something. Mark, you take this poor man to the hospital. See you at home!"

Then she was gone.

***

"Well, Mr. McLoughlin, you seem to have no injuries whatsoever. Not even a scratch or bruise. It's rather astonishing, I'll admit, but you were extremely lucky."

"I know. Thank you, Dr. Faye."

The doctor nodded before walking out, leaving Jack and the man who drove him to the hospital alone yet again.

"What's your name?"

"Jack. And yours?"

"Mark."

"Cool." Jack responded somewhat awkwardly.

"Yup." Mark replied.

"Is your luck always that good?"

"Well, I am Irish. But it's a bit... backhanded. For instance, I got hit by a car, but I'm completely unharmed. 

I also met a hot, seemingly nice and funny guy, but he's straight and taken and currently making awkward conversation with me because he probably feels obligated to, seeing as his girlfriend hit me with her car. 

"Oh."

"Yup."

After a long silence, Mark spoke up.

"Listen, Jack. I know we've only known each other for maybe two hours now, and our first meeting wasn't exactly perfect, or even planned, and I know you're straight and possibly even homophobic, but-"

"Are... Are you asking me out?"

"Well... Yeah. You seem cool an-"

"You. Sick. Bastard. I've been cheated on before. I know how it feels. And if you think I would EVER put another  human being through that pain, you, sir, are sadly mistaken."

"Um... Excuse me?"

"You honestly didn't think I would remember your girlfriend? You know, the woman who nearly ran me over?"

Mark glared at Jack for a few seconds before he busted out laughing.

"What the hell is so funny?" Jack asked, clearly annoyed and confused.

"That..." he stopped for a moment to catch his breath and wipe away a tear or two, "That was my sister. I'm visiting her for a week or so. And I'm gay."

"Oh. My bad."

Then they both started laughing like mad.

"Well, in that case, a date with you would be awesome."

"Great! How does Olive Garden at nine sound?"

"It sounds amazing! Just.. Please don't let your sister drive you. I don't really wan to be hit with any more cars today, especially not the same one."

"That's a deal I'm willing to make."

Mark smiled, melting Jack's heart, and in that moment, Jack knew they'd be together forever.