as a little girl I liked piggyback rides
as a 3rd grader I liked being carried
as a 5th grader I liked the ground
as a high schooler I never leave it
fifth grade ruined me
when I was at a pool party
and we played chicken
and I was on someone's shoulders
and they couldn't stand up
because I was heavy
so I was always the base
but that's not what broke me
what broke me was
when I stood on the scale
in my mothers room
for fun
and it read a number too high
and she said she couldn't believe
how someone like me
could weigh so much
and my dad stopped carrying me to bed
and my friends stopped picking me up
and everything crashed around me
and so I like the ground
it's stable and trustworthy
I don't like being heavy
but when I look in the mirror
I tell myself I'm pretty
I don't ever believe it
but I lie to myself anyway
so at least I can pretend to be
anything but what I am
and I am undoubtedly
heavy.
