The Emptiness

Tina- Flyleaf

I clutched the edge of the examine table and let out a shaky breath. Black started to dot at my vision and I tried to regain conciousness. "Snow!" I heard Amy yelling as I collapsed on the floor.

I didn't completely black out completely, but it was pretty horrid. The doctor must've been really strong, and picked me up. He gently put me on the examination table. It was cold and hard. I shivered uncomfortably.

"Okay Snow. Any questions about this?"

"Why me?" I said through my teeth, my eyes lining with tears.

The doctor chuckled. "Sorry, Snow. It happens to most people. Unfortunately you got it at a younger age."

"When does the morning sickness pass?" I sounded like I was about to pass out, break down, and commit suicide all at the same time.

"Around the third month. The nausea should pass around your first trimester, also," he answered and rubbed his hands together.

"Oh," I said and hopped off the edge of the examination table, landing feet first on the ground. I stumbled alittle bit, but I steadied myself. "When should I start gaining weight?" I asked.

"It depends. Some people start gaining weight on their third or fourth month, other people not until their sixth or seventh month," he explained to me.

I nodded my head and tears started spilling out of my eyes. Amy rubbed my back.

"Im going to set you up with a midwife, okay? On your seventh week. Today's the 26th. When did you have the intercourse that led to this?"

"The 24th? I think," I answered nervously.

"The 31 first is marking your first week. May 12 is marking your seventh week. I'm setting you up on an appointment with Ms. Wong, who was my wife's midwife. I wish you the best of luck."

And with that the appointment was finished.

¥¥¥¥¥

I sat on my bed sobbing into a plush pillow. Amy had already left for her house, but not before trying to assure me that she would beat the crap out of Andy. I almost wanted to roll my eyes at that thought.

The pillow was already wet from my tears and I couldn't take it.

I heard my door creak open slightly. "Snow, honey?" It was Haylei. I peeked at her. I could tell she had just gotten home from a modeling job. The modeling jobs usually allowed her to keep her clothes; she was wearing a ruffled silver and black dress with fishnet tights and her hair was tied to the side with a piece of silver fabric. There was a design painted from the outer-corner of her left eye to her hair line. I couldn't help but stare at the dress; the bodice, a tight corset with silver lace, and the layers of metallic and black that ended up right above her knee.

"Yes?" I whimpered, but it was muffled by the pillow. She sat at the end of my bed and moved her head closer to my ear.

"Why are you crying?" Her voice was gentle, like she cared. I sobbed even louder.

"I-I.." I contemplated telling her that I was pregnant. I sat up. "Im pregnant, Haylei."

She gasped and pulled me closer to her, wrapping me in a warm embrace. "I thought you were a v-" she stopped herself. I knew what she was about to say. 'I thought you were a virgin.' I repeated it over and over in my head. My thought accidently drifted to the raping. I bit my on the pillow to muffle my sob.

"Oh honey," she said and rubbed circle-shapes on my back. "Do mom and dad know?" she asked.

Before, I could respond there was a knock on my door. "Sweetheart, there's a man here for you." My mothers voice was shaky.

My first thought was Andy. A string of curse words spewed out of my mouth. I got up and opened the door. I darted to the bathroom, wiped my eyes, and the I was down the winding staircase that we unconvieniently had.

My mom was right. There was a man waiting at the door for me. Who it was surprised me the most.

"Dad?" I choked on the word. I hadn't spoken it with a real meaning in so long.

"Snow!" he looked up his eyes meeting mine. I leaped into his arms and wrapped my arms loosely around his body.

"Dad-" I began but he cut me off. I back away and stared at him for a second.

"I'll just tell you now and get it over with. Do you remember the day when your mother was killed?"

I looked to the kitchen, where my foster mom sat in a bar stool, cradling her face in her hands. My foster dad was rubbing soothing circles on her back. I looked back at my dad. My dad looked the same accept older. And stressed.

I gulped and nodded, he started talking again, "When the paramedics brought me to the hospital, I knew I was still alive. I could feel the pain. I knew your mother had died." Tears sprung to his eyes. "I saw them. The shot her first. The bullet..." he looked like someone poured acid over his head and then stabbed him.

"I use to play pool. A lot. I was in a lot of debt with these guys they had... They were always finding new ways to torture the ones who never paid up. I never thought..." he trailed off. "They never knew... They were killed in a car crash years ago. I didn't find out until recently though. I had to be... I was in hiding while they were out on the streets. I tried to find you before, I swear. I missed you," he finished leaving many ends of sentences unspoken.

"I missed you too, dad." The word left a funny feeling on my tongue and a feeling of regret filled me as my foster father, Bill, looked at me with a look of betrayel on his face. I frowned.

"I'm buying a house across the town. It's about three miles away. I was just thinking, that maybe, if you're parents," he almost said the word with distaste,"Might let me take you..." He looked down at his hands.

My foster parents were now standing right in front of us, nodding cautiously.

"Wait!" I interrupted their deal. "I'll never see you again?" It was a rhetorical question. I knew I would never see them again if I moved in with my real dad.

"Not necessarily. I mean maybe you'lll see me in the grocery store or the mall.." My foster dad trailed off.

I could tell he was completely serious. "Why can't I do like a divorced parent thing?" I squeaked, not sure what to do. They looked at me curiously. "I mean- why can't I just switch back and forth between homes?" I asked my eyes wide.

My foster mom, Jane, blinked, and then started speaking. "Well...," she said, her eyes puffy and red, "I suppose we can do that. But you haven't seen your dad for 14 years. You should stay with him for a month or so.

My dad nodded, Bill nodded, and suddenly, appearing out of nowhere, Haylei nodded.

"Snow," Haylei began to say. I knew she was going to say words of wisdom about my pregnancy but I put up a hand to stop her.

"I'll go pack for dad's," I blurted out before I could start crying again. I rushed up the stairs and into my room. I got out a zebra suitcase from underneath my bed and started packing.

It was warming up since it was the end of March and April was coming on quickly. Soon school would start and I would have the baby at the end of December, I thought to myself.

It was warm enough to wear t-shirts now so I packed most of them and almost all of the jeans. Under garmets. Shoes. Sweatshirts. Everything. I put my iPod on top and walked down the stairs to see my father sitting at the dining table, sipping on coffee.

"I'm ready to go now," I told my dad before hugging Bill and Jane. "I love you."

I walked out the door with my father, not sure if this is what I wanted or not.

A.N.- My life is really stressful right now so I'm sorry for quite a long wait and please for give me.

I'd also really like to thank by cousin, Josh, if you ended up reading this, EVEN IF I SAID NOT TO MEANY.

So, I'm sorry, but here it is. The next chapter should be out soon.

K.

Bye.