Flight 407

Chapter 27-Tough decisions

A/n hi guys, how have you been?
I've started school and its cool but also pretty overwhelming.
Fun fact:I have two days were I finish on 4:20 so, that's fun...
This chapter is kindly dedicated to the great @PhamilyIsHere , thank you for all your kind comments and votes❤
Hope you'll enjoy this chapter-

"Good morning sleeping beauty" Phil said between quick kisses on Dan's entire face
Dan groaned and rolled over "no, sleepy time"
Phil laughed "it's already twelve thirty and we don't want to waste the day"
Dan huffed "it's not like we have anything to do"
"Sure we do, we have three days until your dad comes back, we need to make the most of them"
"Is staying in bed cuddling not making the most of the three days we have"
Phil chuckled "it kinda is, but we can't do it all day"
"Fine" Dan rolled back over, so he was face to face with Phil's gleaming eyes "good morning" he said happily and placed a kiss on Phil's nose
Phil grinned before hopping off the bed "don't fall asleep on me, I'm just gonna go brush my teeth"
Dan nodded and Phil started his way out of the room, he glanced back and saw Dan was snuggling under the cover again, he smiled and sighed "you are impossible" he muttered playfully before grabbing the blanket and pulling it off the bed in one quick motion.
Dan whined
--
A few minutes later Dan decided to get up, he was feeling a bit chilly without the blanket, and without Phil.
As he walked towards the bathroom a sweet scent caught his nose and he found himself following it to the kitchen.
Phil was standing in the kitchen, whistling along to a song on the radio, he was wearing nothing but a pair of joggers which sat pretty low on his waist and so Dan had a full view of Phil's back which was slightly decorated with some tattoos, most of which were simply the ends of the tattoos he had on the front of his body but it was still hot and Dan could clearly see Phil's sleeve as his hands moved from the kitchen top to place whatever he was making onto a pan which made a satisfying sizzling sound and another burst of the sweet scent that filled the entire apartment.
Dan coughed quietly and Phil turned around before braking into a grin "I wanted to surprise you with a breakfast in bed but you spoiled it" he fake pouted
Dan smiled and went to hug him from behind and kiss his shoulder since it was as far as he could reach because of their hight differences.
"Thanks" he said into Phil's shoulder
Phil pecked the top of Dan's head "my pleasure"
Dan nuzzled into Phil's shoulder and let Phil continue cooking for a few minutes. Soaking up the warm, comfortable moment.
"Would you mind grabbing my phone from my room for me, I haven't had a chance to look at it and i have to check something"
"Sure" Dan reluctantly broke himself off of Phil's warm body.
He grabbed the phone from the bedside table from Phil's side of the bed, grabbed a jumper, slipped it on and went to brush the morning breath off his teeth before coming back to the kitchen.
The small, white breakfast table was set with two plates and cutlery.
On each plate there was a neatly folded green napkin with white daisies on it. There was a plate full of French toast and a bowl with some fruit salad on it. There was also a carton of milk and a carton of orange juice and a small bowl of powdered sugar set next to them. To top everything off there was also a blue vase with some flowers on it that Phil was just arranging.
"Wow" Dan stared at the table, Phil had gone through all that trouble for him.
Phil looked up at Dan "I'm not the best cook but I was told I know how to decorate a mean table so I just went with some basic food which  all I can really make. I'm not as talented in cooking as you are but mum taught me how to make French toast when I was ten so I figured I can't really mess it up too much and fruit salad is really easy to make so I hope every thing I made is edible-"
"It's perfect" Dan interrupted Phil with a tight hug, he felt like he was going to start crying.
Phil held Dan tight before pulling off "m'lady" he called, with a posh accent while drawing the chair backwards for Dan to sit
Dan giggled "thank you my good sir" he then twirled his finger around a non existing mustache.
Phil started piling food onto his plate, and Dan was just scooping some of the fruit salad onto his plate when a familiar voice taunted him 'more food, exactly what your fat ass needs, to get fatter so Phil would be even more disgusted with you than he was before' Dan's hand shook slightly and his grip on the serving spoon tightened, and then he did something he never had the guts to do before
'Phil isn't disgusted with me' he fought back, he didn't believe it full heartedly yet saying it back to that voice made him feel a bit better with himself, and more sure of that fact
'We both know he will eventually' the voice said back, Dan has no comeback for that one 'and by eating you are just making eventually closer'
Dan took a deep, shaky breath and set the spoon back into the bowl, the voice is right.
"Why aren't you eating?" Phil asked around a mouthful of French toast which was heavily powdered with sugar
"'Just not feeling that hungry"
Phil swallowed and placed his fork back on the table "Oh" Dan saw the was Phil's face fell "you didn't have anything since last night" he trailed off, it was right, but Phil didn't know Dan could go for days without eating anything and with a growling stomach.
Just than, as if to prove it right, Dan's stomach growled loudly
Phil sighed, he grabbed his fork, stack it into the middle of a medium sized piece of French toast and finished it of with a light powder of sugar "for me" he said, looking at Dan with pleading eyes
Dan sighed "I told you I'm not hungry"
"Just half of it and two strawberries, that's all. Please"
"Fine" as Dan lifted the silver fork and inched the bread closer to his mouth the voice in his head got louder, listing all the food he already had the past few days and yelling insults at him. Non the less, Dan took a deep breath in and locked eyes with Phil as he bit into the delicious food. Phil's eyes seemed relived, but all Dan could think of was how long he has to stay away from food to correct the lest few days.
Phil directed his eyes at his phone screen,feeling pleased with himself, he knew he had to have a talk with Dan about whatever eating disorder he had, but for now he felt good, he was helping Dan, slowly, one step at a time, but it was still progress.
As he went to swipe his phone screen to open it his eyes widened, he had 20 missed calls, most of them from Maia which was his non official manager, and some were from Chris. He also had thousands of alerts from twitter and all of his other social media, sure he was used to it, but it was never that much, and combined with all of the missed calls. His heart boomed in his chest. What if a friend of a family member of his was hurt, or died? He didn't have anything that big happen on social media and all since he released his coming out video a few years back.
"Earth to Phil" Dan snapped his fingers at Phil, clearing out the white noise he had in his head
"Huh?"
"You just spaced out for like, five minutes and you look pale and worried, is every thing okay?"Dan took Phil's hand and softly ran his fingers on Phil's knuckles.
Phil sighed, he didn't want to worry Dan, he didn't even know what was happening, and yet, he decided he didn't want to keep anything from Dan, if he expected Dan to be truthful with him, he should be held to the same standards.
He turned his phone so Dan could see all the notifications that were still going off "I never had so many and I don't know what happened that could of caused it, plus I have about twenty missed calls from Maia and Chris and that can't be a good sign"
Dan breathed in slowly "first, calm down, it could be nothing, maybe you were nominated to some award or won something. Non the less, you won't know if you don't call Maia, just call her, she obviously has something important to tell you, and I'm here no matter what she says. Okay?"
Phil's breath calmed down and he managed a small smile "yeah, you're right" he leaned forward and gently pecked Dan "thanks babe"
Dan blushed "go ahead" he pointed to Phil's phone
Phil nodded, but before pressing the 'call' button he changed chairs so he could sit next to Dan and held his hand tightly.
"Hello?" Phil started apprehensively
"Thank god you've decided to answer, finally!"
"Wh-"
"I know, I know, and I've been working all morning to try and get them to delete the pictures but you know what it's like, one person posts the photo but by now so many people screenshoted, saved and forwarded the pictures I don't think they will ever fully go away but trust me, we're working on it-"
"Maia"
"-And I have about-"
"Maia"
"-So many people working-"
"Maia!"
"What?!"
"What the actual hell are you on about?"
There was complete silence from the other line for a few moments, then Phil heard some hushed voices mumbling stuff he couldn't really understand "do you seriously have no idea?"
"Obviously not" Phil huffed in annoyance
"Did you not check any social media?"
"Haven't checked my phone since what, six, seven pm yesterday, thought I'd take a little break" he smiled gently at Dan who seemed a bit distressed, having heard only Phil's side of the conversation
"Oh my, Phil" Maia sounded concerned "you better check one of them now"
Phil nodded slowly before realizing she couldn't see him "yeah, I'll do that and give you a call"
"Yeah, oh and Phil?"
"Huh?"
"Just... I hope Dan will be fine, some people were pretty brutal, and he seems fragile"
"What do you mean brutal?"
Maia had already hung up.
"So?" Dan looked at Phil curiously
"I don't know, she just said to check my Instagram"
"So just so it already"
So Phil did, and his eyes widened at the image the app opened on
"What? What is it?" Dan asked, worried, he bent over Phil to catch a glimpse of what made Phil so pale but as he saw the image his eyes widened and he turned much paler then Phil.
It was Dan, he was standing against Phil, his backside pressed against Phil's pants, his hands were wrapped around Phil's neck while Phil's strong hands held his waist tightly. Dan's head was slightly tilted back against Phil's chest and even through the bad quality of the picture you could see his mouth slightly hanging open, as if he was panting, or worse, moaning. And the thing that made Dan fear it might be the latter is that Phil's head was hovering over his neck.
Dan felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
that picture had about one thousand likes and about three thousand comments, but as phil scrolled down, Dan saw it wasn't that picture alone, there were hundreds of different pictures of them, from different angels, in different qualities, in different positions, there were even videos and all the captions held words in them like "boyfriend" "fuck buddy" "ship" and they were all asking questions about him, who he was, was he dating Phil.
Phil opened the comments on one of the pictures and scrolled through them quickly, he hurried to close them after reading only a few but Dan saw them. They culled him a slut, a faggot, a loser. They said he was fat, that Phil deserved better. Some claimed to be there, said they saw him and that he looked even worst in person, that he was forcing himself on phil and that Phil seemed grossed out the entire time.
Dan sank back into his chair, if anyone he knew saw it he was fucked.
And even if no one he knew saw the pictures, a whole bunch of people did, and he didn't think he was ready to come out as Phil p's boyfriends, and it wasn't like the pictures could be seen as strictly friendly, they were hard to explain and Dan just felt like a complete idiot, if he hadn't let that ass hole get to him, he wouldn't have gotten drunk and he wouldn't have been stuck in all this mess. And he dragged Phil down with him, his whole fan base was freaking out and because Dan still didn't want to come out he knew that would mean Phil would have to lie to his viewers.
Dan squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them hard, he than dared a look over at Phil.
Phil was still sitting next to him on the white chair, back slightly hunched forward and his iPhone was clutched in his left hand while he was still scrolling down his phone with his right one.
"Phil" Dan asked timidly "what are we gonna do?"
Phil sighed and leaned back against the chair, he stretched and rolled his back that ached from the position he was sitting "I'm not sure, depends on what we want to say"
"I'm sorry"
"Dan, it's not your fault okay? We're in this together and I want you to know that"
Dan shrugged slightly
Phil rested his hand on Dan's thigh "I'm not mad, were gonna go through this together and I want you to know I will fully support how ever you want to proceed with this okay? Just please believe me"
"I believe you" he trailed off
"But?"
"I'm just not sure what I wanna do"
"That's what I'm here for"
Dan looked up to see Phil smiling at him and smiled back, he could not believe how lucky he was to have Phil.
Dan gulped "I don't- I don't-I don't think I'm ready to come out yet" he stuttered out
Phil gently squeezed his thigh in reassurance
"It's just, I already came out once and it did not go well and that was only to a few people not to millions of them. And I know you came out and those same people were super supportive, but they are also really protective when it comes to you and I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate and I don't know if I'm ready to deal with it. Besides, if we come out on the Internet everyone will have access to it, even homophobic and hateful people that will be terrible and I've seen the way some of them comment on your videos, those people just hate everyone and are looking for the bad things in people and again, I'm not as strong as you to be able to handle it"
"You watched my videos?"
"Yeah, I had some spare time yesterday. They are really great Phil" Dan blushed than frowned again "is that all you got from what I said?"
Phil laughed slightly "no. I also got all you said which is why I don't think you have any thinking to do, we just don't come out, I agree with all the things you said and the last thing I want to happen is you getting hurt"
"But I do have some thinking to do because we can still come out"
"I know that but from what you just said it just doesn't sound like there are any good stuff in us coming out, scratch that, there are many good things like holding hands and kissing and going on dates publicly but for the time being it just sounds like the bad stuff out weighs the good"
"Wouldn't it make you happy to not have to lie to your fans and friends and family and having to just stay inside all the time and stay secretive?"
"Of course it would"
"See, thats why I have to think about it"
"Dan" Phil sighed "I need you to listen to me, okay"
Dan tipped his head forward to show he was
"Don't ever make a decision that affects your life as much as this one will based on some one else's needs or wants, I want you to do what makes you happy because I'll be happy with whatever makes you happy. Okay? This decision will not affect me as much as it will affect you, so I want you to think about what's best for you, I know you aren't used to it, but I just need you to do it once, for me"
Dan looked at Phil, his bottom lip quivered "I'm sorry" a few tears fell down his cheeks
"Bambi" Phil sighed as he pulled Dan into him "don't be sorry"
Dan hiccuped "I-I'm not r-ready to-"
"Shhh" Phil soothed "it's okay" he tightened his arms around Dan
--
"Hi guys" Dan heard Phil say from the other room "I know there has been some pictures going around" Phil paused, probably making a face at the camera "and because of them there are a lot of rumors going on" there was another pause "so I just wanted to clear things out, yes it was me in the pictures, and I was dancing with someone, I am sad to inform all of you the ship us that we are just friends and that that person would like to keep his identity privet. All I can ask from you is that you respect that and that you respect me enough to let me have my own private friend. I know I share most of my life with you but there are some things either I, or the people around me would like to keep to our selves" there was another pause and Dan guessed Phil was smiling "anywise, that's all I have to say about the situation, I hope you understand and be respective towards that person as I have seen some of you were down right bullying them" Phil paused one last time and based on the way his voice became more strict and mad it was obvious his expression changed to a more annoyed or mad one "so yeah, I'll see you on Tuesday on my YouTube channel"
Dan was sat on the couch, anxiously listening to Phil filming the snapchat videos, when phil was done he plopped himself on the couch next to Dan and kissed him on the cheek "I uploaded them" he said
"Do you think they'll believe you?"
"Do you want the honest answer?"
Dan hesitated "yes"
"Probably not, but it doesn't matter, the second they find a picture of me hanging out with someone they'll immediately assume I'm dating them, yes, this time they were right and they have more proof, so it'll probably take a bit longer for it to cool down, but eventually it will. Honestly all I really want is for them to stop insulting you, it makes me feel weird to have people who are my fans bully someone, especially when it's my boyfriend"
Dan blushed when Phil said boyfriend "I'm sorry you had to lie to them because of me"
"Dan, stop acting like its your fault, if you were dating a normal person none of this would have happen, you would have been able to go on a date with them without being afraid of people taking pictures and invading your privacy"
"If you dated a normal person you would have just been able to come out and date them publicly"
Phil reached his hand over Dan's shoulder "it's over now, please stop worrying, lets enjoy the time we have together until your dad comes back".
So they did just that, the next two days were filled with cuddles, kisses, movies, parks, laughter and a lot of food.
Phil was trying to get Dan to eat because by the looks of it he didn't eat much when he was alone, but when he was with Phil he did and Phil decided to take advantage of that.
He knew he would have to talk to Dan about it eventually, but they were happy and with the whole pictures drama Phil decided it was enough action for one week.
And yes, people continued posting and talking about the photos but not as much, and many people defended Dan if people said hurtful things or simply asked people to delete the picture because it was an invasion to Phil's privacy.
But Dan and Phil mostly just tried to not check social media, they tried to spend their time together, not on their phones. And in a weird way Dan was somewhat happy about the pictures, because it made him realize how much better it was to hang out and just focus on each other.
--
But unfortunately all good things must end, and when it came time for Phil to leave, they said their goodbyes (lots of kisses were involved) and Phil left, leaving Dan to himself for the night, as his dad was only arriving at the early hours of the morning.
The bad thing about Phil leaving every time after spending a lot of time with him, is that at nights like this one, where Phil left after three amazing and equally chaotic days, Dan has too much time to think and process everything that happened, which is something he doesn't get to do while he's with Phil, because they live in their own little world, which is a sub product of not being able to be a couple in the outside world.
Dan was curled up in his bed, Phil's comforting scent surrounded him and he breathed in then stuffed his face into Phil's pillow and sighed.
All he did ever since Phil left was think, which meant he was thinking for five hours which is never a good thing.
He came to the conclusion he had to see phil less and maybe move a little slower in the relationship.
For years all he wanted was to have a boyfriends and now, finally he has one, a perfect one, and yet he still isn't one hundred percent content. Dan wondered what was wrong with him. He knew it would be difficult for him to be away from Phil for a long time which, ironically, was the reason he knew he had to. The thing is, Dan hates being reliant on people, yes, when he was alone he wasn't the best, maybe even a complete mass, but still, he managed to convince himself he was better on his own, it took months of torture from all around him, and now when he finally managed to believe it himself, Phil came in and now Dan feels like he's being too clingy, that he's too much to handle and in a way, that he's losing himself, which again, is ironic, because he doesn't really like himself all that much, sometimes he hates every thing about himself. But, as stupid as it may sound, if there was one thing Dan liked about himself was that he was an independent, self reliant person, but now he felt like he needed Phil, which is usually a good thing in a relationship, but Dan felt like he was trusting Phil too much and feared that when they break up or when Dan will go back home he would barely be able to do anything by himself without missing Phil like crazy, which may sound like a regular thing, two people in a relationship caring about each other and missing each other while they aren't together, but to Dan, who got used to going days, sometimes even a week without anyone speaking a word to him, it just felt like too much.
And now he was with Phil all the time and when Phil was away he was constantly thinking about him, because sadly, Phil was basically the only person he had in his life that seemed to truly care for him, sure his dad cared for his well being, but after the night he met Phil Dan felt odd being around his dad and it made Dan see him in a different light, seeing how mad he got when he thought Dan might be dating Phil made Dan rethink how supportive his father really was of him and how okay he truly was with Dan being gay.
And he was kind of friends with Ilario , they met up a couple of times and sometimes spoke on the phone but they drifted apart a bit ever since Dan last came to London and now, when Dan was in London he was with Phil almost all the time.
So that night, before going to sleep Dan made a decision, he won't see Phil for a week and a half to prove to himself that he would be fine on his own and, In a way, try to train himself for when he returns home, where even if he and Phil stay together he still won't see him in person for months.
"It'll be fun" he thought "I'll draw, go to my park, play video games, maybe even meet up with ilario. It'll also give me an opportunity to lose some wight" Dan smiled gently and nuzzled his face into Phil's pillow, this shouldn't be too hard.

A/n thanks for reading, if you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to vote and comment as it makes me smile❤