Broken ( Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Harry's POV

The scared expression on her face was still clear in my head as I yelled at her to leave. I didn't mean to scare her, but she was ,along everything so complicated. Every girl I have ever been with since I changed my ways has never said no. Most of them have acted shy and have given me a little bit of a hard time, but at the end they always gave in. They gave in because they want to sleep with me as much as I wanted to sleep with them.

Nico is the first to actually push me off and actually stand up. It's not that she doesn't want to sleep with me because I can tell that she does. The way her body was reacting to my touch told me everything I needed to know. She wanted me.

My problem with that was that I think I wanted her too. I don't her the way I've wanted the other girls I've messed with. When my skin touched hers it gave me a sense of warmth inside of me. It was not just sex. It was more than that.

The first thought that popped in my head was Monica. I remember that being with her was the best yet worst part of my life. The way I felt with her was so amazing. With Monica it was love. Wasn't it? It felt like love.

Tonight my first thought was to get Nicolette to sleep with me. When I pulled her away from that guy all I wanted to do was mess around with her for a bit. I wanted to take her home with me and do exactly what I knew to do with every other girl that I take home with me. When she stopped me at the door of the club and told me that she was no one night stand; I felt like laughing and telling her that she was trash. I wanted to insult her, but I didn't. I saw her begin to walk away and all I thought was that I had to do anything to stop her from walking away from me. So I invited her to just talk.

I've never actually just talked to a girl before. With Monica we never actually had time to talk. We were always sneaking around and we would only talk when we were hanging out with our friends, but we never talked about anything personal. We never actually talked about our likes or dislikes. I just remember the feeling I got when I was with her and that was all that mattered to me. Now with Nicollette I am not sure what it is that I am feeling.

Nicollette wanted more than just a one night stand, but I am not sure if I can go through that again. I can't go through the heartache that comes with a relationship. I just can't. I am not even sure if that is what she wants, but she when she asked me what we were doing; I wasn't sure what to answer.

At the moment I thought that all I was doing was just trying to sleep with her, but then when she asked me that I was thinking that I wanted to see her again after we slept together. As soon as I thought of being with her again I got scared. I didn't want to be in a relationship with her. Or did I?

No. I can't. I can't risk having any feelings for her. I have to stop thinking about her. All I need is to go back to how I was before. I have to stop thinking about her and all these stupid ideas of possibly having an actual relationship.

I stood up from the couch and grabbed my car keys. I drove back to the club hoping to find a distraction. When I arrived at the club neither of the guys were there anymore. I went straight to the bar and began to order some drinks. I took one drink after another not really keeping count. The clear burning sensation of the substance felt good as it went down my throat. With every drink I took I began to forget. Forget about Monica and forget about Nicolette.

“Hey Harry,” a female voice said to me.

I turned around to take a look at who it was. I couldn't remember her name, but I did sleep with her once...or twice. I couldn't remember and the alcohol was not helping me either. I was completely intoxicated and I could care less what her name was.