Chapter 22

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AN : Hi everyone there is a picture of Nicollette on the side in case you were curious :) xx

Chapter 22

As I opened my eyes the next morning there was this moment where I has forgotten everything that happened yesterday, but as the minutes past, And my brain recovered from sleep, all the memories of Harry's harsh words came back. I felt the slight pressure of pain in my heart and I didn't want to get up from my bed. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day. Sleeping and dreaming were the only escape I could come up with as the pain began to subside again. I thought I wouldn't feel pain like this anymore because Harry was a great distraction, but now that he is gone the pain of my mother's death is back and this time stronger than ever all because it is now mixed with the pain that he caused.

I looked over at the clock next to my bed and was surprised to see that it was now noon. I have been sleeping for a very long time and it wasting because waking up came with that feeling of pain and loneliness.

"Nicky," I heard a knock on my door.

I immediately pulled the covers over my head hoping that that would drive my stepmother away.

"Nicky," she knocked again, "I'm coming in. I'm worried."

I heard the door creak open and her footsteps kept growing louder as she stepped into my bedroom.

She placed a hand on my thigh and moved my body slightly as to wake me up.

"Are you still alive under there," she asked.

I slowly pulled down the covers from my face and looked up at her.

"Are you sick," she asked, "you've been sleeping for quite a while."

"I'm fine," I whispered. I meant to talk a little louder but it came out as a whisper. I sighed then turned to my side my back facing her.

My chest began to ache and this was the time when I really wished my Mother was here. I know she wouldn't really help me out and say that everything would be ok, but just having her alive would make this pain a bit bearable.

"I miss my mom," I said.

"I know you do, Nicky. I am so sorry I wish i could being her back for you," she said placing a comforting hand on my back.

I hated putting her in this position and I didn't mean to say that I missed my mom out loud, but I couldn't help it I was feeling alone. I know I have my dad and that also have Martha, but they have a baby coming and I can't help but feel like an intruder here. It was always just my mom and I and even though she was a drunk and a bitch she had those moments when she was MY mom. She would comfort me and tell me she loved me and that she would try her best to change. I knew that those moments wouldn't last long because those were the days when she would be sober for a bit. Then when the reminder of my father came back to her she would grab a bottle and drown herself in alcohol.

"Nicky why don't you come to the doctors with me today. It will get your mind off things and it isn't good for you to stay in bed all day." She said.

I turned around to look at her wondering if she was serious about her offer. I would love to go and be involved with her pregnancy mostly because I would feel less out of the picture, but would she like that or is she just doing it out of pity?

"Do you really want me there?" I asked my voice softer than usual.

She brushed a strand of my hair off my face and said, "of course I do. You are part of this family Nicky. I don't want you to feel like you are not."

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