Cancer

Thirteen

*mikey*

It was the day of the appointment and I was scared as hell. They never told me what was wrong, just told me to make an appointment.

"What if somethings seriously wrong?" I asked Pete, who was walking beside me. I told him I was fine on my own, but he still wanted to be with me. I forgave him, and Gerard thought I was crazy for it.

"SO HE TELLS EVERYBODY SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO KEEP SECRET AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?" Gerard shouted confused. He was sure that if it was anybody else he would be number one on his hit list. "WHEN I TOLD PETE, ONE PERSON, YOU WOULDNT TALK TO ME FOR A WEEK!"

"Okay so maybe I was being over dramatic back then, but he didn't mean to tell anybody, and she told the press. So if anything it's still your fault," I tried explaining to my brother.

"I'm confused, so can I beat the shit out of him or not?" Frank asked wonderingly.

"STAY OUT OF THIS FRANK!" We both yelled over to Frank.

Yeah, Gerard still hasn't accepted that I forgive Pete and has been anything but nice to him.

"You're gonna be fine," Pete says squeezing my hand.

"Appointment for Mikey Way?" I said to the receptionist as we walked into the glass doors. She looked into her book and back up at us.

"Room 258," she tells me with a smile.

We make our way to the room and enter the small room. I take a seat on the bed and Pete stands next to me. Not soon enough, the door opens and in steps a nurse.

"Hello Michael, my name is doctor Todd. How have you been?" She asked standing over one of the counters. She definitely seems more friendly than Doctor Sharpe, but they all do.

"I've been completely fine," I lie. Lying has become a natural ability for me lately. I've felt ill almost everyday, but I don't want to worry Pete, it's probably nothing big.

"Well that's good, we just want to take a few more tests, they thought they saw something, but it only showed up in the one test. It's nothing big don't worry," she says smiling, I smile back and nod.

She leaves the room to go get the equipment and I am left with Pete.

"Told you it was nothing big," he said shoving my shoulder lightly. I look at him and squint,

"You don't know that yet,"

"Gosh, you're such a downer," he said spitting his tongue out at me.

"Okay this should be quick," doctor Todd said walking back in the room. She pulls out a needle and jams it into my skin. Okay, thanks for that heads up. I use my other hand to go grab Petes and squeeze it.

"Alright, I'll be back in a few to tell you if anything pops up, and then you're free to go," she tells me and leaves the room.

Pete takes a seat next to me, leaving us barely any room in between. He put his hand on my chin and brought it up to meet his.

"You're gonna be fine," he tells me, pressing his forehead against his. I closed the gap between us and brought him in for a kiss. "You'll get through this, and when you do so many things are gonna happen. You're gonna write more music, we'll get married, and-"

"Woah what? Get married?" I asked interrupting him. We've never discussed this before.

"I don't see why not, only if you want to though," he says trailing off. I look at him and see him blush.

"Yeah, I do want to," I say quietly. Now I was the one blushing.

"Okay Michael, it seems things aren't as well as we thought," the doctor said walking back into the room. Way to kill the moment...

"What's wrong?" I asked, not really concerned. I just wanted to leave. She starts explaining things that I don't understand so I start to zone out.

"-meaning you won't be able to perform with your band until your better," that's what snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Wait what?" I asked, not knowing the full story.

"It's putting too much stress, raising levels of blood pressure. It's just not healthy, it's on the line of safe," she explains. "Take a few months off touring, relax, and then we will discuss when you can start again. It's nothing permanent,"

I can't do anything but stare at her. I'm completely speechless, who's gonna fill in for me? What going to happen?

"Alright, if there's no questions you're free to go,"she says as if she didn't just take everything I had.

"Thank you," I say leaving the room, I want to be anywhere but here right now.

~

We drive back to the hotel in silence. I can feel Pete staring at me, but I ignore it. When we get out, I walk into the room and see Pete staring at me with sympathy. That's all anyone has for me anymore; sympathy.

I pull out my phone and text Gerard real quick.

Band meeting. Important

I think he'll get the point.  I make sure I grab my wallet before heading down to the studio to break the news to the band.

"So why are we here Gerard?" Bob asked as we all found our way into the studio. Band meetings are normally called when Gerard thinks it's time to start a new album, but seeing as we're on tour, it clearly wasn't because of that.

"Actually I was the one who called it," I spoke up. Everyone looked at me surprises except Gerard, because I asked him to call it. "Um my doctor told my I'm not aloud to perform anymore," I say quietly, looking down at my shoes.

"What! Why?" Frank cried out.

"I'm not exactly the healthiest person, and according to her it was putting my health more at risk," I admit slouching down. We made a rule never to put our health at risk for performing.

"Mikey, you know she's just trying to help. We'd rather have you healthy and on break than sick and performing," Ray says looking over at me.

"I know, I know," I mutter, everybody was going to end up saying the same thing.

"Oh I also wanted to say the next person to leave a you camel in my room is going to get smacked," I said and everybody started laughing. We all just hung out for while, telling stories and jokes. Pretending everything is going to be okay.

~

I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH WRITING THIS BOOK IM SORRY
goodnight
-the other half of kess