The Mindless Man's Paradise

Chapter sevnety-seven | Cyrus

  Aspen did not speak to him once throughout the days they had spent hiking to away from the crime scene. He tried to speak to her, but she would not answer him. He knew she would not speak until he addressed the cause of his murderous streak.

  On their way out, they had retrieved their packs and game sacs, so that they had supplies to live off of.

  Cyrus couldn’t stop the image of Aspen shooting and knifing the HQ soldiers without hesitation from running through his mind.

  Cyrus had thought he would love to see Aspen learn his ways, but he saw how it had affected her. She was traumatized by herself; hating herself all over again, which had been something he had helped her stop doing, and something he prided himself in. But after hearing her words on the night of the battle, he had never felt so horrible about himself.

  It was night time, and they were sitting around a fire, roasting chunks of rabbit on a few sticks.

  “Aspen, I’m sorry.” he said with all honestly.

  His apology was greeted with silence.

  “You want to know why I am the way that I am?”

  Again, she said nothing.

  “I don’t care if you say anything or if you don’t but you deserve to know.” Cyrus said. “As you know, I was the oldest child. My father believed that I had to be the protector of the house, so that I could keep them safe from HQ, since they were growing too old to do it themselves. So from a young age, my father trained me. He trained me to kill. He trained me to give no mercy, and that if I was fighting for someone I love, it was justified. But now I see that everything is not as it seems.”

  He paused, hoping Aspen would say something.

  She didn’t.

  He was getting worried that she didn’t love him anymore, but knew that if she didn’t want to be with him, she would have left him, when instead she followed him through the woods.

  “Before we lived in the cottage, we lived in a log cabin.” he spoke with quiet words now, not wanting to relive his worst moments. “HQ found it, and attacked it. At the time I was ten, but I was also a trained serial killer. I killed a whole army of soldiers without a problem. Images of lifeless eyes and blood and combat riddled my dreams for the following years, causing me to resent my father- much like you resent me right now- for turning me into what I was. I tried to stop, but once HQ attacked for the second time, I couldn’t stop myself. I had to protect my family. When I killed everyone, the last person standing, the commander, begged for mercy. This was after he had burned my house down, killing my parent’s newborn baby. Not Kian, obviously, but his name was Toby, and he was only a few months old.

  “The commander promised me that he would never return for us again, as long as we maintained peace with the Society. We would be allowed to live in the woods, as long as we kept to ourselves. I was eleven at the time, and of course I agreed. They held their end of the bargain until recently, but I suppose it was only because I had  broken my end of the bargain by escaping with you.

  “So then we built the cottage and lived there. For a long time, my parents fought over me. About how I was a killer. My mother argued that I should stop my training, and my father argued otherwise. They came to the conclusion that I should make the final decision, and that was when I decided I didn’t want to train. Of course this created a lot of tension between myself and my dad. I wouldn’t even pick up a gun to go hunting. So when we returned and I started hunting again, that was why he was so happy. He was probably hoping I’d want to start training again. But I didn’t, I don’t, and I never will Aspen. I hate that part of me, and if it compensates for anything, I don’t do it out of spite. I do it because if anyone were to hurt you, I wouldn’t be able to live. I’m already grieving over my family, Aspen. Don’t let me lose you, too.”

  His entire speech, he refused to make eye contact with Aspen. He didn’t want to see her expression, but now he was finished, he had no choice but to look. She had been crying, and she crossed the remaining space to Cyrus, who had tears cutting through the grime on his face as well. Cyrus felt relief as she hugged him, and then kissed his lips tenderly. 

  “I didn’t know any of that, Cyrus.” she whispered. “We can work through this. Together.”

  Aspen grabbed his hand, and squeezed it. From there, they fell asleep in the grass, not letting go of one another’s hands.