The Mindless Man's Paradise

Chapter twenty-eight

  It had started to snow again.

  Cyrus and I opened the French doors that lead to a balcony overlooking the Society. It wasn’t a pretty view, but the snow was wonderful. It collected on the railing in small piles that were fun to pick up and toss over the edge.

  We had helped ourselves to the hot cocoa machine, and sat down on a small sofa on the lanai. Snow had begun to settle around us, and I found myself smiling as the snowflakes collected in Cyrus’s eyelashes.

  For a while, we sat on the couch awkwardly, not sure how close to one another we should sit. But eventually, after our mugs were empty, there was nothing to warm us but one another. He scooted closer to me, and put his arm around me. I resituated myself so that I was facing towards him, with my legs over his lap. In no time, we were warm.

  Cyrus’s arms were practically an oasis in the Society. I felt safe, warm, and loved, which was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I brought my face around to look at the scenery before us. The bikers in the streets looked like pulsing veins from where we sat; the blood was always pumping.

  I felt as Cyrus shifted the position from where his head rested on mine. I lifted my own head to see what he was doing, but he had only moved to speak.

  “You know what I just realized?” he said, not making eye contact, but looking over the city.

  “What?”

  “You still don’t have a name.” he was almost speaking to himself, and I was surprised when he turned and looked at me.

  “You’re right.” I said, realizing it as well.

  “Okay. We’re naming you right now.” he said, beaming.

  “Now?” I stuttered. “I haven’t even thought about it.”

  “If you want, I can give you a name.” he provided.

  I thought about it for a moment, and nodded. It didn’t take him more than a second to give me a suggestion.

  “Aspen.”

  This had caught me off guard. Aspen had been the imaginary name I had referred to myself as when writing myself into a Pre-Landie’s lifestyle.

  I remembered one story, where I, as Aspen, had gone on a date with a boy. I hadn’t given the boy a name, at the time it didn’t seem important, but now I could imagine his name to be Cyrus.

  I repeated the name a couple times in my head.

  “Hello, my name is Aspen.”

  “Nice to meet you, I’m Aspen.”

  “Yes, I’m Cyrus’s friend, Aspen.”

  After trying it out, I realized it reminded me too much of my past.

  “It’s too nostalgic.” I countered.

  Cyrus’s brows raised. “Forget nostalgic. It suits you one hundred percent!”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Well I do.”

  “Then prove it.”

  “Well it’s a very beautiful name, but it’s tough and strong. Just like you. You’re pretty, and you are very perseverant, if you haven’t noticed. Not only that but… you just look like an Aspen. Nostalgia is the least of your concerns, and sometimes it’s good to remember the past. It reminds you of why you’re strong in the first place.

  I thought about this for a moment, and I realized that he was right. I didn’t want to forget my past. Not anymore. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that with my new standpoint on our government, I was proud of writing those stories and drawing those pictures.

  “You’re right.”

  “So you’re Aspen now?” he asked.

  “I am Aspen now.” I said, trying to feel confident.

  I was quiet for a while, taking in the fact that my new name was Aspen. Well, I was really trying to take in the fact that I even had a name at all.

  “It’s weird. I feel like I should feel like a new person.” I wondered aloud.

  “You shouldn’t feel different because Aspen is you. You are Aspen. They are one.” he assured me.

  “You’re so clever.” I taunted.

  “I know.” he smiled with pride. “Now, let’s test out your new name… Aspen.”

  The way he said my new name gave me chills. His voice had a certain degree of rasp that made me wish he would say it over and over again and just never stop.

  “So, how are you today Aspen?” he inquired.

  “Never been better.”

  “Well, Aspen, I have a surprise for you.” he said in a talk-show voice.

  I snuggled closer to him before saying, “And what would that be?”

  “Before I give it to you, you need to close your eyes.”

  I closed my eyes, enveloping my vision in sudden blackness.

  “Surprise in 3…2...1…”

  On one, I was truly surprised when Cyrus pressed his lips on mine. Something inside me that I hadn’t been able to pick out before had been yearning for that moment right then.

  His lips were soft and tender, working gently and diligently.

  All of the tension between us had been effaced, and had been replaced with longing and desire. Once his lips had touched mine, I had placed my arms around his neck and pulled myself as close as a person could be without being fused together.

  After a rather long kiss, we stopped for breath, our eyes both open now, fluttering with the adrenaline of a kiss. We grinned at one another before kissing once more.

  Kissing Cyrus wasn’t like kissing the Boy. With Cyrus, it wasn’t only a kiss. It was… I don’t even have words for it. It was everything and more.

  Heavily breathing, Cyrus managed to work in my name a few times.

  “Aspen.”

  More breaths. More kisses.

  “My Aspen.”

  I was lucky that he hadn’t noticed how insanely I was blushing.

  We stopped kissing, but only long enough so that he could kiss my neck and continue saying my name.

  “Aspen is you.”

  Another neck kiss.

  “And Aspen is mine.”

  He came in one last time for a lingering kiss.

  Afterwards, I situated myself so that I was looking out over the Society again, but I really wasn’t thinking about HQ, SHQ, The Land, or even the Society.

  All I could think about was the taste of Cyrus’s lips on mine, and how much I never wanted that moment to end.