The 1st Quarter Quell

Chapter 6 - Saying Goodbye

The anthem played once more before we were quickly whisked away to separate rooms inside the Hall of Justice, Peacekeepers guarding both sides of the door. It was the most expensive place I've ever been to, with it's silk-lined chairs, soft carpets and plush pillows and threaded curtains, not to mention a marble bust of our newest and current President, Coriolanus Snow. He looked young and daunting, even if it was just a sculpture of him, they captured that glare of his. I never want to see that look of his in person. Even though he only came to power a few years ago, the man was the same age as my eldest brother, and you could tell he wasn't one to take these Games lightly. He just seemed so cruel and so corrupt.

I only had half an hour to say goodbye to my loved ones, which was not enough time, so I started to tap my foot endlessly, waiting for someone to show up and help me through this ordeal. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? Why did I feel so betrayed? I wanted to prove I was the best, why wasn't I feeling good? I've been shaking non-stop the entire time, and I was constantly wiping my hands on my dress to get rid of the sweat, I couldn't stop tapping my foot.

My Father comes in first, tailed by Izzy and Alfie. Father seems slightly shaken up about this, and Alfie and Izzy are both crying their little eyes out. They both run into my arms immediately, almost tackling me into the sofa. I tell them that I'm going away for a while and that they're to focus on school whether or not I see them again, Maximilian will take care of them and so will Greta. 

"Try to win," Father says faintly, his eyes soft, concealing the sadness he feels inside, "For me, and for your brother and sister. If you don't...We won't forget that you did this to bring honour to our name, and that you'll keep your dignity." He forces a smile, but I know that he's really affected by this. I don't think he ever wanted this for me, but then, how could any parent want this for their child? I act on instinct and pull my Father into a tight hug, embracing the man I'd always secretly looked up to. I may not be particularly close to him, but this may very well be the last time I see him, and I don't want his last image of me to be a sad crying teenager, I want to show him that I can be strong and independent, and not have to rely on adults in order to cope.

"No matter what you may see on that screen," I say pulling away, my voice cracking and tears stinging my eyes at the though of me having to kill properly, "It's not me, an- and you know I'm only trying to survive...Fight through it and-" Father cuts me off with another hug, and he strokes my head. He always knew how to keep someone calm, but I hate to say it's from the hours of interrogating he has to do at work. Our hug is broken off by the Peacekeepers escorting them out, and Alfie and Izzy's cries to not let me go just about broke my heart.

I try to force myself to not cry, but I can't hold them back, a single trickle was enough to break my composure. I will not let them see me as a weakling. I will not let them think that of me, of my family. I squint my eyes shut tightly, trying to rid myself of the tears that are fighting to stay, but I hear another knock on the door, and my all three of my brothers walk in, all in their pristine white Peacekeeper uniforms.

Bartie pulls me into a tight hug, and I bury my face in his scraggly brown hair, embracing everything I was going to miss about my brother, even if it did smell of sweat. He seemed genuinely upset about me being reaped, and that he didn't want this for me either, but there's no turning back now, is there?

"You sure got a lot of guts setting yourself up for this!" Maximilian exclaimed breaking up the hug, his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. I pulled away from a near-sobbing Bartie and approached Maximilian, who looked angry and unwavering.

"I told you I wanted this!" I shouted back, my voice cracking on the last word of the sentence and the tears flooding from my eyes. I was strangely glad when he was shocked at my reply, it just showed he had little faith in me, and that I was right about them all along.