What She's Worth (Reylo)

Chapter 7

What was it that he feared?

It was a question that haunted Ben until past bed time hours. The lights were out, his quarters illuminated only by moonlight coming in from the window.

He held out his freshly patched up hand, fingers grabbing at the air as if to catch the light. How long had he been lying in bed, idly doing one thing or another while mulling his uncle's question? Too long. But long enough that he found not just one answer, but several.

He was afraid of being unable to live up to the Skywalker name.

He was afraid of being cast aside.

He was afraid of what he was capable of.

Of what he was incapable of.

Of being unable to control himself

Outstretched fingers clenched to a fist, he lowered his arm and covered his eyes.

He feared so much.

He feared too much.

And that creature. The spectre from his childhood. The monster his mother had told him didn't exist. He'd stopped telling her about it once it became clear she would not accept it as anything other than a frightened child's overly active imagination.

But Rey had heard the voices...

He lifted his arm away from his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Rey. He hadn't been able to tuck her into bed. Hadn't been able to tell her a bedtime story. Hadn't been able to make sure she took her nightly glass of warm blue milk. It was for the best, he supposed. He couldn't trust himself to be stable enough to take care of her tonight.

It took another hour, but his eyelids finally grew heavy enough to shut him away from reality and into a deep slumber.

That was yet another thing that terrified him. Sleep.

Because in sleep, he was vulnerable.

In sleep, it could reach him.

Sure enough, he found himself standing in a dim, cavernous room, the scarred creature looming over him in a throne.

What is it that you fear the most? His uncle's question rang through his mind again. This, he thought, shoulders trembling as he took in the sight of the giant before him. He feared this...this...thing. This distortion with its beady eyes that moved up and down his body, regarding him like a predator would its prey.

Ben took a deep breath. He shouldn't be afraid. He should stop being afraid.

"Who are you?" he finally managed, surprised to find his voice strong and steady, reverberating through the cavern like a distant roar of thunder.

"Ah, I see..." The creature nodded, its voice rasping and dripping with...amusement? "So...you finally summoned the courage to confront me, dear boy?"

Ben did all he could to steady his knees, even as it threatened to buckle down from beneath him. "Who are you?"

The creature smiled a lopsided smile, the scar making his seemingly benign expression even more grotesque. "Someone who sees you for who you truly are."

"And how do you know who I am?"

"Because I have watched you. From the shadows. I have always been there." It shifted in its throne, as if to lean forward. The hairs on Ben's arms stood on end but he remained where he stood. "Do you still not see, dear boy? It was you who called to me."