I Hate Basketball (Kuroko No Basuke)

Defeat

Chapter 30 ~ Defeat

I walked onto the basketball court, my eyes watching the red haired figure standing on the free throw line.

His head was tilted upwards, staring at the hoop that brought his first defeat.

"Shinako. You're here."

Shinako. It had been a long time since I heard it from his lips. I expected to feel a spark in my chest but instead, I felt nothing but numbness.

"Seijuro. I heard you've... come to your senses," I said stopping a few feet away from him while I fiddled with my hair unconsciously.

Seijurou turned around and stared at me. His eyes searched for something on my face. Maybe he wanted to see if I hadn't changed.

"Shinako. I'm sorry. I forgot about you," he said, looking at me straight in the eye.

I smiled, a real smile. "I forgive you, Seijuro."

"I still love you."

His words caught me off guard. I never expected him to say that. I expected him to act like we were just friends again, our 'relationship' in Teiko nothing but a mere dream.

But...

"I'm sorry, Seijuro," I said softly, casting my eyes on the ground. "I-I... don't feel the same anymore. I did love you. So don't think I didn't. But, you left," I whispered, I expected tears to come out but none came. "And my feelings for you disappeared too. I was too hung up thinking why I didn't release you from yourself that I didn't notice I felt nothing. I just kept trying to keep my feelings alive even though they weren't. I'm sorry, Seijuro. I loved you until you left me."

Seijurou stared at me in disbelief and my chest tightened.

Stop. Don't look at me like that.

"I think you should move on too. Get someone who will always love you," I said with a smile. "I told you before, I'm not a saint. I'm not kind. I've broken your heart yet I feel nothing. I'm sorry."

There. I said it.

"Two defeats in a day," Seijurou whispered, pursing his lips. "I didn't expect that." He gave me a sorrowful smile.

Don't make it harder for the both of us.

"Neither did I," I mumbled, still fiddling with my hair.

"But, Shinako, before you go, can I... can I hug you?"

My lips twitched upwards, after this there will be nothing between us. I was just another girl in Teiko who was in his English class. There will be no history between us. And no future either. After this it will be over.

"OK."

In a flash, Seijurou was already hugging me tightly, his head on my shoulder.

I recognized his scent yet I didn't feel flustered or anything special. He was just Seijurou.

"I'm sorry for leaving, Shinako."

"It's fine. You'll always be my first love, Seijuro."

Seijurou slowly released me from his grip and took a step back.

I smiled at him before waving my hand.

"Goodbye, Akashi-kun," I said softly. "I hope you find someone better than me."

I turned around and started to walk away.

"No one can compare to you," I heard him say but I didn't turn back.

Instead I kept on walking forward.

As I stepped out of the building I looked up at the sun and smiled.

I felt a dampness on my cheek and my smile slowly dropped. I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

"I did the right thing, didn't I?" I whispered, unable to control my tears anymore.