I'm Forever Yours

4. The Lost Love

Ail's POV

I went to my usual horse riding place. It wasn't actually a horse riding training place but the owner of hotel Yak and Yeti had a stable and had a horse care taker. I just requested him to teach me horse riding. My horse's name was Lara. She was a cute brown horse. I loved her. I had horse riding class with Rylo. He was a friend. Shawn taught us horse riding well. He was a man in his late twenties and loved horses.

I hadn't failed to notice that there were always two white horses in the stable. We could ride any horses but we were not even allowed to touch them. So one day I asked,'' Shawn, Why aren't we allowed to touch those white horses? Are they special?''

Shawn paused. He had a sad look on his face. He said,''Ailina, before you came here, I used to train a girl and a boy along with Rylo. They used those horses. The boy had another girlfriend but he loved the girl. Even the girl loved the boy. Their love was very deep. It could be seen in their eyes. But one day suddenly, they both left and I haven't seen them ever since.''

I noticed that Shawn had some kind of sadness in his eyes. Perhaps nostalgia. I need to find more about it.

Shawn left. I got curious so I asked Rylo,'' Rylo, who were the girl and the boy?''

Rylo said, ''Don't ask me the names. They loved each other. The boy was handsome and sturdy. He was about sixfeet tall with brown hair and emerald green eyed. The girl was beautiful and had lots of charm. She was gentle when needed but she could get harsh when required. She was really very pretty. As Shawn said, they used those white horses. Have you ever noticed that even the white horses love each other? It reminds Shawn of their love so he never allows anyone to use them. They were just friends but their feeling for each other was great. Neither one of them had confessed but still their eyes sparkled when they saw each other. Their love was very pure. And they always used those horses. After they left, even the horses didn't eat for days. Even they missed their master's smile. And from that day neither of the hoses let anyone else to ride them. Not even Shawn. They made me believe that true love exists. They used to be so happy with each other. The way they talked with each other and the way they sat there loving each other all the time, expressing their love with all their heart, though not by words was just so good. They were always together loving each other. Their love was eternal. They maybe anywhere in the world but I still believe that they love each other.''

After hearing Rylo, I really wanted to meet the girl and the boy with so much love. They must have been lucky. They were close, even as friends. And getting love back from the one you love was very rare in this world. It was just like those stories. I wonder why they left suddenly.

Maybe true love did exist.

I mean it is very difficult to get true love in thisean world. As sex got easier to get, love got harder to find. Even if I am a virgin, fact is a fact.

Loving is so easy, and yet so hard.

And I couldn't help but notice the sadness in Rylo's eyes when he talked about them. He smiled but yet sadly. It was like he was affected in a said as well as a difficult way. So I asked him,"Did you like the girl?"

Oh my big fat freaking mouth. How could I ask such a thing? Why didn't my moth just shut up. It was already difficult for him and I was making it worse.

He looked at me, smiled a sad smile and said," Yes. I had loved the girl but she couldn't love me back. She only took me as my friend. She looked beautiful when her eyes sparkled but unfortunately those eyes never sparkled for me. And I didn't want her too lose those sparkles in her eyes. The way she smiled for him made me fall for her. But even he loved her very much. The way he smiled when he was with her, he even cried on her shoulders. He showed his that side of him which he had kept hidden from the world. He trusted her with his life. They both loved each other and I was just a viewer. I could just see her but I couldn't have her. And their love was just too cheering. When she was with her, she smiled a bigger smile and laughed a bigger laugh. They were made for each other. She was hard from outside but soft from inside. She was everything. Caring like a friend, concerned like a mother, strict like a father, protective like a brother and loving. It was almost impossible not too fall for her.

But the fall was too much. I seemed to have forgotten that falling breaks things and it may break me too. It was late, too late when I realized that. I had fallen so badly that I broke into a million pieces. I had broken so much but still I couldn't stop loving her, even if it hurt."

I smiled. Perhaps it wasn't only me that had all the suffering. Me, Ani and even Rylo had to go through pain. Love is very hurting. It's comforting and happy but at the same time it even brings out tears. When one loves, one should be prepared to get happy and even to get hurt. Maybe that's why so much are afraid to love. But it's not our choice to love. But it would be so wonderful if the one we love loved us back as much as we loved them. So many less hearts would be broken everyday. But maybe we love them cause we can't have them. It's just so confusing. If only love wasn't so heart breaking.

Loving is very difficult. One must go through all the pain but still one can't go back after loving. It's not like liking a toy and throwing it away. Cause you can't just stop loving no matter what. How much hurt you become, you can't stop.

Someone once said,
"We ignore the one who adore us,
And adore the one who ignore us.
We love the ones who hurt us
And hurt the ones who love us."

I realized the meaning of those words now. If only we could love the ones who loved us. Why do we always fall in love with the ones we can't have? No one knows. It's just so easy to fall in love but it's so hard to unlove someone. Why is it so hard? Why can't time heal everything? Tif was right. We all have a past that we want to erase but erasing past is not like erasing letters in a paper. It's permanent. Past is the past but it's history. And history can't be changed. It's like a scar. A scar never gets removed. We just have to live with it, as happily as we can. No one loves a scar, do they? It's not that scars are ugly. It's just that instead of cheering up on us for being brave enough to handle that scar, the people hate us for that scar, it finds the scar ugly. It's not the scar that's ugly but the people criticizing us that is ugly. We just have to live with the scar. Bravely.
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Author's note
Thank you for reading. In the next chapter, you'll have some exiting news. Hold on. Please comment and vote. XOXOXOXOXO