Scattered Seeds

Chapter Forty-Two

Tom spent the rest of the day in his hotel room. He didn’t want to take the chance of running into Susannah if he went out, and the still nauseous man prayed to God that she didn’t come knocking on his door. After the way he flipped out on her, Tom imagined that their time onset together would now be cold and brittle.

He didn’t care.

The director anticipated six weeks’ worth of joint scenes between them to be shot in Sepulveda before Susannah broke away to finish in northern Spain outside of La Coruna. Tom would remain behind, wrapping up his role before all cast and crew reassembled in Madrid. Upon completion of the film there would be a press conference, photo shoots and interviews, and then Tom would at last be free to return to London.

Home.

Jess.

His stomach lurched every time he thought of her, still disgusted by what he’d done the night before. Given that the woman of his heart was always on his mind, Tom had yet to eat anything for fear that it would come right back up.

He tried to rest; to sleep off what remained of his hangover, but that proved to be futile. Whenever Tom closed his eyes more visions of Susannah surfaced in the blackness.

Tom sat up on the bed, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. He looked at the clock and saw it was just after four in the afternoon.

He didn’t know how Jess planned on spending her Saturday off, and Tom’s fingers fussed with one another as he stared at his phone. The anticipation of discovering if she would ever speak to him again gnawed at his already frazzled nerves.

Did he dare to call her so soon?

What would Jess say to him?

Luke told Tom that Jess did not hate him, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t upset.

The very notion of her screaming accusations at him made Tom’s exhausted mind swim in a fresh wave of regret.

The despondent fellow hauled his long legs over the side of the mattress, got to his feet, and then plodded over to the hotel room’s desk. Tom opened up his laptop. He searched for and found the suspect photographs of Susannah and himself at the bar, grimacing at the telling comments posted with them.

Tom began to think back, grasping for any comforting memory of Jess and him together.

Their dances at the UNICEF banquet; Jess in the beautiful gown he bought her. Tom holding her so close he couldn’t recall where Jess ended and he began.

Before that….

Their flight out of Jowhar with Jess asleep beside him as Tom secretly reveled in Samuel’s words of surrender.

The look on Jess’s face outside of Kulmis just before Tom rang the bell to open the school. She was so proud of him, smiling and hugging him with jubilation.

Tom’s mind turned to darker recollections.

Him shielding Jess with his body in the street as Kulmis exploded around them. The hours they spent in the medical clinic cleaning pools of blood from the floor and piecing torn bodies back together as best as they could. Jess going quiet and Tom washing her so gingerly in the shower, trying to rinse away all of the tragedy.

The workshop….

How right Jess’s body felt against his and her soft moans in his ear as he pleasured her.

The morning after, and the way Jess brushed him off because she didn’t believe she was enough to keep him happy.

Tom hung his head in shame, closing his eyes to ward off the tears before they surfaced again. He tried so hard to convince her that they could make things work.