Scattered Seeds

Chapter Fifty-Three

"Pauline," Jess spoke into the phone with urgency. "So glad I caught you. I need your help."

Jess gripped the receiver in angst as Pauline assured her that she was more than willing to assist with whatever was needed.

She'd taken the day off to at last secure a way for her to remain in Great Britain. After hours of researching online, several unfruitful phone calls, and a crying episode over a cup of tea, Jess was still at a loss.

"I have three weeks before they send me back, Pauline," Jess explained in a worried rush. "I can't leave him," she continued, now pacing over her kitchen floor. "I can't lose Tom again. He said he would think of something, Pauline, but he's hardly even mentioned it since I told him my visa's expiring."

"Alright, alright," the UNICEF Officer soothed.

It was imperative that Jess relax. The usually laid-back American's current stress level was enough to make Pauline's blood pressure rise just from speaking with her.

"Have you applied for an extension?" she inquired, figuring that it was logical to start with the most obvious solution.

"I don't think I qualify, and there's not enough time," Jess explained with a short tone and a frown. "My time is up. This is it," she surrendered as tears worked into the corners of her eyes. "I can't afford to keep making trips over here, and Tom won't have the time to visit me. On top of that," Jess added as the dampness spilled down onto her cheeks. "If Little Tommy's papers don't come through, I'll have to leave him too."

The image of Tom with an arm around the boy that would be her son, shrinking from Jess's view as a cab whisked her away to Heathrow, was more than she could handle.

She ceased wearing a track into the tiles beneath her feet, and then paused to support herself against the counter.

"I'm sorry, Pauline," Jess apologized. "I don't mean to be curt. I'm just," she shook her head and shoved the tears away. "I'm just so scared."

Why wasn't she able to keep her emotions at bay these days?

It seemed as if every time the notion of leaving England presented itself, Jess fell apart. Depression and anxiety that she was losing her budding family struck first, before morphing into anger and frustration that Tom had yet to make good on his word and find a way to keep them together. Then surfaced the glee of going back to the States, and raising Tommy in the same mountains she grew up drawing her strength from.

She was on a confusing, exhausting rollercoaster, and Jess wanted nothing more than to get off such a terrible. Tumbling ride.

"It's quite alright, Dear," Pauline assured her. "You have a lot on your plate right now, I know."

The kindhearted woman opened an internet browser on the desktop in her office, typed and clicked a few times, and then smiled into the phone.

"I think I have an idea, Jess," Pauline told her. "Can you meet me for a late lunch?"

Tom and Jess spent the remaining weeks she had in London squaring away Little Tommy's adoption, and sharing as much time as possible together.

Weekday mornings Jess worked in the UNICEF office tutoring a still very nervous Mary on taking over her position. Regardless of how many times the American reassured her, the little mouse girl insisted that she would never be able to run the show by herself.

"Ben is here for you, and you can email me or call, Mary. I'd be glad to help with anything, you know that," Jess pledged as she clasped Mary's shoulders, and then rubbed her upper arms in support.