Pinahid ko ng mabilis ang mga luhang nag uunahan sa pag agos galing sa namamaga ko nang mga mata. Gaano naba ako katagal umiiyak? Isang oras? Dalawa? O higit pa. Ilang balde na ba ang luhang inilabas ko?
I think I've cried all the water I have in my body. Yet. The pain, in my heart. Never lessen a bit.
Wala na akong boses. Paos at pakiramdam ko'y namamaga na ang lalamunan ko dahil sa paghahagulgol.
I caress my chest again. Trying to lessen all the pain inside, pero kahit anong haplos ang gawin ko'y andoon parin.
Why does it hurt so much?
Earlier today, I heard Drace and Miranda hissing almost whisper with each other in the kitchen, I tried to not to eavesdrop but curiosity indeed killed me. Ang dami kong narinig, ang daming tanong sa isip ko.
I got scared. Hurt.
I asked Drace. He said not to mind Miranda. I love him so much so I just did as he said.
Gusto lang naman nya akong iwanan si Drace. And she wants Drace to drop me too. Yun lang ang narinig ko kaninang umaga sa may kusina bago ako umakyat.
I wanna know her reasons-kung meron man. Kaya pinuntahan ko agad sya sa mall kanina pagkahatid na pagkahatid sa akin ni Drace sa bahay.
Nakita ko sya sa may parking lot. Lalapitan ko na sana sya kaso nakita kong humahangos si Drace na sumusunod sa kanya.
I saw them together na tila nagtatalo. Lumapit ako patago. And there, and then. I heard the most painful bomb exploded just after my ears.
I felt like I die. On that very spot. On that very moment.
They killed me.
I hate Miranda. .
I love Drace. And so I hate myself because I love him so much that even though it hurts me so bad, I still wanna see him. I still wanna be with him.
I am so in love with him.
Sobra. Na kahit alam ko nang may nagaganap nga sa kanila ni Miranda ay tila wala na akong paki.
I heard a soft knock on my door.
Marahang pinahid ko ang mga luha sa aking pisngi. At tiningnan ang pintong bumukas.
"Darling...?" I heard my Mom. Tiningnan ko sya. I saw worry crossed her face, I looked at her na tila ba nagsusumbong. "Darling love? What's wrong?" Pumasok ng tuluyan si Mama at tumabi sa akin. Yumakap ako sa kanya. I sob softly.
"Mama, Im in love with Drace....." I said almost a whisper.
I heard her giggle. "Silly Darling, of course, he's your boyfriend."
Marahan akong tumango. I nuzzled my mom's scent and somehow, it gives me comfort.
Kailangan ko yun. Kasi sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. I know she deserves to know.
"But why are you crying?" Marahang inilayo nya ako at tinitigan ng mabuti.
I wanna tell her that I am experiencing my first heartbreak. But I couldn't. Mama loves Miranda. Ayokong maging problema na naman nila ni Papa kami. Pinasok ko tong sutwasyong ito, kasi masaya ako. Kasi mahal ko. Ngayong nasasaktan ako, mag-isa ko din itong haharapin at aayusin.
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Random--de Lucca Brothers-- #2 Alexandrace de Lucca