Delivery Boy / vkook

二十九

© NoranB (via twt & tumblr)

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january 1, 2018

during the whole car drive with jeongguk, a lump in taehyung's throat began to form. it irritates him; he didn't want to cry. he wants to sob and tell jeongguk how much he cherishes him.

the two arrive at taehyung's house after buying food necessities. jeongguk begins to unbuckle his seat belt as taehyung stays in place. what nostalgia, it reminds him of a particular day. that day, he told jeongguk news that wasn't a big deal. this time; this time it was different. a mile different.

jeongguk is just about to pull the car door handle, "wait. please don't leave yet." taehyung says, catching jeongguk's attention from his sudden protest.

"what is it?"

taehyung's eyes began to water and he turns away, embarrassed from his weak appearance. "i love you so much, you should know that. i want you to know that. hell, i love you from the moon and back. you understand that, right?"

"yeah, of course i do. i love you from the moon and back too, hyungie," jeongguk pauses and watches a tear fall from taehyung's eyes. "hyung, why are you crying?" he asks, voice filled with concern.

taehyung's thoughts were screaming, telling him not to inform jeongguk of his news. he wants to scream, he didn't want to do this. however, he wants a career. he does. taehyung didn't want fame like being a singer or actor, he wants fame that was subtle. he wants fame that didn't lead him to hiding his identity when with a significant other or fame that requires body guards. he buries his face in his hands, "i'm sorry, jeongguk." his voice cracks, his heart was breaking. he was breaking. maybe he was overreacting, maybe it couldn't be that bad. could it?

"sorry for what, hyungie?" jeongguk asks, placing his hand on taehyung's back. he rubs the surface of his back in comfort, refraining from breaking down with taehyung. jeongguk's heart was racing, he was afraid of what his boyfriend was about to say.

the red haired boy continues to sob. he couldn't tell jeongguk. he didn't have the mental strength to. every time he imagines telling jeongguk, he always saw tears streaming down his boyfriend's cheeks and his voice cracking in disbelief. would jeongguk avoid calling him ever again because of the amount of pain anchoring his heart? would they become strangers over time? could a long distance relationship not work the way they want it to? all these questions he couldn't find answers to. his heart was cracking like an egg that's about to hatch. agonizingly slow, the time was ticking.

"jeongguk, i understand that you would hate me because of how much pain will stab your heart right now. i understand that you'd rather leave me than hold on because holding on hurts more than letting go, right?" taehyung says, his eyes a tint of red with irritation.

"you're not telling me that we're breaking up, right? is that what you're telling me?" jeongguk asks, a feeling of anger running through him.

"no, that's not what i want. of course that's not what i want." taehyung says, tears of sorrow rolling down the surface of his warm cheeks.

"then what?" jeongguk asks, his voice becoming soft.

"i'm going to new york to pursue my career as a writer." taehyung says, his eyes meeting jeongguk's. his boyfriend's expression and his eyes, his eyes looked as though it lost its color. his heart sank; taehyung's news really was an anchor to jeongguk's fragile heart.

jeongguk was numb and his hearing wasn't clear but it was as if it were muffled. he blinks as the tears began to stream down his pale cheeks. the color of his skin began to vanish as the words repeat in his head.

it hurt because he didn't know if he could visit anytime soon.

jeongguk looks down, "for how long?"

"the minimum of ten months, maybe more."

"let that 'maybe' not exist, alright?" jeongguk sighed as he wiped the tears from his face, "we can work this out. we can, i know we can. we can, right?"

"of course, of course we can. just please stay with me, jeongguk. i don't think i'd find anyone like you." taehyung said, turning to his boyfriend.

"taehyung, you are basically everything to me. i don't think i'd be able to let go."

"we'll work this out, i know we will. we just have to make time." taehyung says as the tears that were dropping from his eyes come to a halt.

"i love you so much, taehyung. don't forget that."

"i will never forget. i love you, jeongguk."

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A/N: loool so much cringe haha i can't write sad scenes for shit 😅😅