Delivery Boy / vkook

十九

— ;

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan
Heaven - Troye Sivan

february 4, 2017

it was a month after new years and jeongguk was able to have another break for a month and two weeks.

jimin sat in his car, tears streaming down his pale cheeks. the atmosphere was dull, perfect for the news he'd have to tell his step brother, jeongguk. it wasn't something he would sob for but when he'd have to tell his step brother, and see his reaction, it made his heart break little by little.

finally, jimin wiped his tears and had the courage to leave his car. the cold hit his fragile skin and it brought images of his sobbing step mother, his heart was about to sink further. jimin was getting weaker and weaker as he closed the car door and walked to jeongguk's house. every single step made everything slow motion, as if he was in a movie.

he finally reached the door.

and at this exact moment, jimin knocked on jeongguk's door at exactly 6:40 AM. excess tears he wiped moment ago while in the car coated the side of his face and the whites of his eyes were red from the crying.

jeongguk woke up on the couch, hair disheveled and in front of his eyes. "jimin hyung?" he asked, voice raspy. "why are you crying?"

jimin wasn't aware of the fact that fresh tears were streaming down his pale and flustered cheeks. his crying eyes met with jeongguk's.

his step brother's confusion made him not want to say what he was about to say, scared of the reaction. he wouldn't want to see such a small boy's heart be broken and torn into multiple pieces, as if they were glass shards. whatever jeongguk wanted to do, jimin was able to endure it. no matter what.

"he's gone." jimin said, his voice cracking into a sob. he covered his face with his hands as he bawled.

"who? WHO'S GONE?" jeongguk asked, taking jimin's shoulders.

"your father, jeongguk." jimin tripped on his words as he looked up from his hands and at jeongguk. he was sickly white as his grasp on jimin tightened.

jeongguk's gaze was stuck on jimin as he tried to understand what he said just a moment ago. he didn't know what he felt but he knew it was disbelief. this moment, this atmosphere, this announcement is just unreal.

he dropped his head towards the ground, grasp still painfully tight on jimin's shoulders. his tears were falling to the ground in slow motion and he suddenly became crazy due to the amount of emotions that washed over him.

"but i s-saw him j-just a month ago." jeongguk rasped, voice quivering. "HE WAS OKAY A MONTH AGO." jeongguk yelled, denying the fact that his father was deceased.

it felt as if multiple were voices were faintly yelling incoherent words but they were all shouting in anger and howling in pain. it felt as if they were yelling directly in his ears. why couldn't he understand? why did they sound so distinct and distant to him? was it in his head?

"i hate myself." jeongguk sobbed, letting go of his step brother's shoulders and kneeling down. his tears made a small pool on the cement of his house, his sobs overthrowing the sounds from crows and wind blowing beside their ears. "it was my fault, it was all my fault. i should've been the one to die, i should've. I HATE MYSELF!" jeongguk shouts, coldly hitting the ground with the side of his fist, a tint of red staining the side of his hand.

"i wish he was happy instead of me." jeongguk says as the intensity of the shouts and howls in his head increases. then he closed his eyes and millions of memories with his father played through his head, faint laughter and smiles appearing and dissolving into a new memory after a second.

the next memory made his heart sink to rock bottom.

it was the night he confessed to his father. "get out," kept repeating in his head. get out, get out, get out.

without losing a piece of me, how do i get to heaven?

— ;

A/N: i felt like this isn't going to make anyone cry but i tried my best

i feel as though it won't make anyone cry because jeongguk's dad isn't a character who everyone gets attached to. he only had one appearance in this book after all ahaha

but yeah i just think it won't make anyone cry because of the fact that most likely no one was attached to jeongguk's dad as much as jeongguk, taehyung, or gongju.

but i mean, that's just my opinion lol 😅

(or maybe having an attachment to a character and knowing the fact that this particular character is in pain can make people cry? idk im overthinking)