Forget Me Not

Chapter Twelve

Jason and Rianne left at ten-thirty in the morning and stopped for lunch and some side shopping at the local stores on the way to Tagaytay.

Three-thirty PM, they arrived at the resthouse of Jason’s cousin. The place was not that huge but the architecture and design were all modern and sophisticated. It had a front yard with a swing chair and the living room was cozy with a small fireplace. A mini bar divided the living room from the kitchen. Upstairs were three rooms—the bedroom, guest room, and entertainment lounge with an air hockey table convertible into a pool table on one side of the room and a flat screen TV and couch on the other. In the backyard, there was a Jacuzzi that seemed so inviting that Rianne already planned to take a dip in as soon as they finished touring the house.

As she was relaxing in the warm, bubbly Jacuzzi, she wondered why Jason didn’t join her. They were comfortable with each other like brother and sister that she never put malice into activities like this. No one seemed to understand that she treats Jason as nothing but mere best friends. They had seen each other naked before. She remembered back in college when they went to Mactan Island for the long weekend, they went with all their college friends to unwind from all the stress from school projects. Since it was off-season, there were only a few guests there. Around midnight when almost all the other guests had gone to sleep, the group of friends all decided to go crazy and go skinny-dipping. They didn’t put malice into it and let themselves have fun.

A few more minutes passed and she had already forgotten about wondering what Jason was doing because of how relaxing the Jacuzzi was. She very much needed this alone time to clear her head of thoughts and unwind.

Three hours later, Jason emerged from the house to let her know that she should get dressed as dinner was almost ready.

She headed to the entertainment lounge where Jason had set up their dinner on the center table facing the TV. He knew she liked watching movies while having dinner.

“What’s showing tonight?” Rianne asked as she walked in.

“Footloose or Dirty Dancing?”

“Original versions?”

“Yup.”

“Footloose then.”

Jason set up the DVD player and sat beside her on the floor as they ate their dinner. She loved the omelet he made and the genius idea of dipping popcorn in Nutella.

They had a light dinner while enjoying the movie. And as the credits rolled up, she was still swooning over Kevin Bacon when Jason turned it off and violin music began to play on the speakers attached to his iPod.

He got up and stretched out his right hand to her while the other was tucked behind his back. She took his hand and he helped her get up. She curtsied before he pulled her closer to him as they slow danced.

It was déjà vu perhaps and her heart began to feel awkwardness and anger. She felt her heart pound and her palms got colder. She was no longer enjoying this.

“I’d like to ask you something but I am not sure how you’d react. But here it goes…” he began.

It seemed as if she knew what he was about to say but did not want to hear it at all. But she let him speak.

“I have always loved you and I don’t know how to live without you. You are the only constant thing in my life. I’d like you to see me as more than a friend, court you again I mean, and maybe this time around, we can be happy together.”

His eyes were pleading and tender.

“No,” she answered bluntly, pushing him away. “I know how all this might make you misunderstand things but I thought we were beyond that. I thought we already had this understanding that we are just friends. How could you do this to me? You know I have been so confused lately. I thought you wanted what’s best for me. Give me time to relax. All along, you had your own agenda. I can’t believe this! I haven’t exactly settled in with my supposedly new life and here you come making things worse! You won’t even tell me anything about my lost memories! How can I trust you when I know you’re keeping something from me? Was it something about us?” she exploded.

All the anger, craziness, and anxiety from figuring things out came rushing out of Rianne and she continued to lash out.

“Tell me something, anything, so I’d understand!” she yelled.

He just stood there.

“I have to know!”

He stood still, unable to look her in the eyes.

“I can’t… I can’t tell you… Please try to understand…”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t love someone whom I know is keeping secrets from me. I’m sorry but… I just can’t love you,” she said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

She saw the horror in his eyes and could almost hear his heart break. Tears welled in his eyes.

The whole night was spent in tears. She was crying in anger, and had tried to smash her head onto a wall. 

Rianne was becoming more and more desperate but couldn’t think of anything else, let alone a relationship with her best friend, knowing that my past, or the inability to recall it, will haunt her.

The ride home the next day was awfully awkward and silent.

What was going to happen next? Why couldn’t he just tell me what was going on? Where exactly do we go from here? She waited for him to say something–anything–but he just kept his eyes on the road and kept quiet.

How can I tell her? What if I end up making things worse? Will things ever be the same again between us? Jason tried to clear his mind and kept his eyes on the road as his fist tightened around the gear stick.

Rianne kept throwing him awkward glances every time he cleared his throat but nothing was ever spoken.