My Immortal with Commentary

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

Oh God. Translating this is almost impossible! Here's my best attempt, though.

AN: Stop flaming the story, okay? You don't even know what is going to happen, okay! So fuck you! If you flame you will be a prep, so all flamers can kiss my ass! Sorry for saying Alzheimer's is dangerous, but that's the ministry's opinion, because society basically sucks. Thanks to Raven, you rock, bitch!

That might've been the hardest thing I've ever deciphered, and I watched Gravity Falls.

While I do agree with you on the society sucks thing, I do not feel like kissing the place this story came from.

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"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then........................ he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.

That sounds surprisingly much like he's performing a satanic ritual, especially for a Christian.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

"I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!" That quote is gold. Like, how does Tara come up with this?! I don't think even a comedian could make this shit up.

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1"

Stab Vrompire! End the 'love' triangle!

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

Oh Satandamnit!

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.

If Vampire is so nice, date him and let Draco get killed! It's not that hard!

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles taught me that Christians only pray to God, and sometimes Mary, if they're Slytherin hats.

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him.........................

WAIT WHAT THE NO PLEASE NO SNAPE DONT I CANT HANDLE THAT PLEASE ITS BAD ENOUGH WHEN HE DOES IT WITH EBONY!!! Sorry, but I'm really flipping out right now. I just don't want any more bad smut.

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.

Yeah, my boyfriend almost got raped. Now is the perfect time to send a text to Sirius!

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Wait, what? So Severus isn't Snape's first name, but his brother? Plot twist!

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."

And Snape didn't resist? Couldn't he have used 'Abra Kedavra' to kill everyone in the room?

Also, when I first read this chapter, I was in the train at 15:30, so it was really, REALLY busy in there. And this kid who was standing behind me was looking at my phone. I noticed him when he suddenly started laughing really loud and he didn't stop for, like, two minutes. Then he turned to me and said: "What the hell are you reading?!" After I told him, he looked it up on his phone and he couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the train ride.