Loving You Hurts

7: My heart

       Justin'a Point Of View

"- my hearts telling me... it's telling me that this is worth it, that you're worth it. It's telling me that I should ignore my brain and learn to love again. It's telling me to trust you with my heart, fully. It's telling me that, no one else has made me feel this way." I breathed out. I can't believe I just said that out loud. It was quiet. She was staring at the floor and I wanted to run away and never show my face again. This is the most embarrassing thing ever. This isn't me. I'm really good with girls, I use my charm and I have them wrapped around my finger. I know what to say to girls but Melea just has me speechless.

"You could say something you know." I chuckled awkwardly. I had to break this defying silence. "Can you be honest with me?" I asked. She finally brought her face up to mine, and her expression was something I couldn't quiet decipher. I haven't seen this one before. I wasn't sure if she was going to burst into tears or if she was going to scream and laugh.

She nodded slowly, her eyes never left mine. "What do you feel?" I asked. I needed to know. Am I just crazy for falling for someone within a week or is she feeling the same way. "I'm shocked-" she blurted. Her face seemed expressionless now, like she didn't have a heart or feelings. "- because I have my whole life planned out. Literally. I'm supposed to travel the world and continue my mothers legacy and do photography. I'm supposed to buy a house in Paris or in Sun Valley. I'm supposed to meet someone and maybe fall in love with them after I do all of that. Years from now. A week ago I didn't have a care in the world and I didn't bother with relationships because why would someone remotely find me attract let alone fall for me?" She shook her head in disappointment. Tears were seconds away from falling down her cheeks. My heart ached when she spoke. Was she really hurt badly by someone in her past that she thinks so lowly of herself?
"But I met you. A week ago, not a couple years from now. You were never apart of my list, but I've  never felt this way before about someone else, it's like we connect on another level. You give me butterflies, and I care about you more than you know and more than I tend to show it. I'm scared. I'm scared that you're going to get tired of me and just drop me like a hot plate. I'm scared that because You make me happy, I'm going to let your hectic world into mine and it'll break me. I know it will. I believe everyone's opinion of me. I get hurt easily and I'm scared that once you break me, your world is going to shatter me too. I'm scared because I care so much about you and that's not on my list." She breathed out. I swallowed hard as I tried to process everything. She's falling for me? I wanted to jump up and down on the couch like a manic and scream " SHE CARES ABOUT ME, I'M NOT ACTUALLY INSANE!!!" But she's scared. Because of my world, my career, my fans. Everything about my life scares her, because she cares about me but has no intention of being anywhere near this industry.

"So what's YOUR heart telling you?" I asked the question she asked me before. Maybe we should stop over thinking things and just listen to our hearts for a change.

"It's telling me to take a deep breath and let it all go. It's telling me that I should give you a chance, the fans and media, your career. The hate. My hearts telling me to let all my fears go and just be with you,and only you." She sighed and smiled a tight lipped smile.  I leaned in slowly as did she. We were inches apart, I've been wanting to know what her kiss tastes like. Almost dreaming about it. Our lips touched slowly and I felt sparks fly.

My hand tangled up in her long dark hair, our lips meshed with each other so perfectly. I never wanted to moment to stop. Her kisses sent chills up and down my spine. This was the first time we've ever kissed and I felt like I was on top of the world. We pulled away and rested our foreheads against each other's. "I shouldn't be falling for you this fast." She sighed quietly.
"But it feels so right, doesnt it?" I pulled away to look at her. Her brown eyes sparkled brightly and her lips were red from our kiss.

"So right." She smiled and leaned in again, kissing me with so much passion and force. I leaned down on the couch as she straddled me,not breaking our kiss not even for a second. Our hands traveled everywhere, as we made out voraciously. It was like her kiss was oxygen that I need to live off of. She pulled away slowly and pecked my lips a few times, making me giggle like a little school girl. "I'm glad you came out tonight. It means a lot to me." I said genuinely. "I already planned on coming out here the moment I knew I was coming to Denmark. I already bought your tickets and everything, I just wanted to surprise you tonight."she smiled sheepishly. It felt like my heart grew a hundred times when she said that. It's hard to believe that she's really this amazing, genuine, caring person. It seems too good to be true honestly.

"So what does this make us?" I asked. I have all these questions and I need them answered. "It's up to you." She shrugged. My hands rested on her thighs as I thought about what I really wanted it. She's definitely it, but is she willing to let my crazy life in?

"How serious are you?" I asked. I need to know before I do something big.

"It'll take me some time to fully let your life be apart of mine. I'm not used to the paparazzi, the media and the fans. But I will if it means that you're mine. " I noticed that when she really means something, her voice gets soft,not quiet but the kind of voice that makes you calm.

"Okay." I smiled and brought her down to kiss her once more.

It's settled. She's going to be my girlfriend, I just have to figure out when and how.

CAN YOU SAY JELEA?????

UGH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER

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Love you guise 💞💞💞