My Name Is Dan (Phan AU)

chapter sixteen

Phil's P.O.V.

I don't know what got into me, but PJ invited me over and I said yes. Which is so stupid of me, because PJ is the one that got me into this whole mess in the first place.

Well, no, technically I got myself into this whole mess. But I really couldn't help myself. I laid down, and looked at PJ, and suddenly he looked so pretty just laying there. Suddenly, I was staring into his eyes and I didn't even think of stopping myself.

PJ is so pretty.

My thoughts are cut off by a knock on the front door. I get up off of the couch and make my way to the front door.

"Who is it?" I ask loudly, unlocking the door.

PJ speaks. "It's Dan and PJ. Let us in, loser."

"I already knew that, I just wanted to hear you guys say it," I reply right before opening the door.

Dan is looking down, and PJ has his arm around Dan, as if comforting him for some reason.

Dan's hair is somewhat messy. He's wearing an extremely loose flannel and baggy jeans. He looks so good.

I find myself voicing my thoughts. "Dan, you look really handsome today."

He looks up. His eyes look sad. He stares at me for a moment before replying with, "I didn't really try today."

"That doesn't mean you can't look good. Come in, guys. What do you want to do?"

PJ walks in, and then Dan right behind him. Dan follows PJ into the living room, looking down most of the time. I close the door and also go into the living room, sitting down on the floor and leaning against the television stand.

"What do you want to do, Dan?" I ask 

"I don't know. Whatever you want to do, I guess."

I speak without thinking. "There's a lot of things I want to do, but I probably shouldn't do any of them in front of PJ."

"Phil! Oh my god," PJ says as he picks up a pillow and throws it at me, laughing loudly. The most I get from Dan is a small chuckle and a blush.

Dan's eyes look so empty and sad, and I can't help but wonder if I made him feel that way.

"Dan? Phil? Are you guys okay?"

That seems to break both of us out of our trance-like state. We both nod in sync and glance at each other for a moment.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I start. "Dan, are you sure you're okay? You look sad."

"I'm fine, Phil. You don't have to worry about me," he replies in a semi-monotonous voice.

I pause. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course you did something wrong, Phil. For fucks sake, haven't you been here lately? You nearly fucked my best friend, and you don't think you did anything wrong. That's the thing with you. Why would that be right in any world?"

PJ watches for a moment in awe, and then immediately jumps back into reality and begins to attempt to calm Dan down.

"Dan, please," he says gently and quietly. He makes Dan face him, and sets his hands on the other boy's shoulders, making sure not to squeeze too hard as he shakes him a little bit. "You can't do this to yourself or Phil. It's not nice to either of you."

"But I'm not over reacting at all. This is how a normal person would handle it, right?"

"You're not very normal, Daniel," PJ tells Dan right before he hugs him.

I stop and take a moment to think of what I have done. I've made Dan sad. I never wanted to make him feel this way. "I'll leave you two alone if you want, sorry," I say quietly as I get up. PJ stops me.

"No, Phil, this is your problem too," he says quietly, motioning for me to sit back down.

I take a seat on the other side of PJ, earning a semi-angry glare from Dan.

Did I really hurt him that badly?