♤ [2] An Everlasting Nightmare

ı 24 ı Goodbye

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"There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow. There's nothing in this soul left to save."

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"No, no, no," I gape, still staring at my empty hand. "No, this isn't happening. This can't be real." 

I sprint to the other room where I saw James's body earlier and run to the corner where Silas's body bag lays, James's body still beside it.

I angrily throw Silas's bag out of the way and drag James's body out from the corner where I can examine it with my own eyes.

I kneel down beside him, dragging my hands delicately across the grey veins covering his face, looking for any explanation as to if this is real or not. He lays there still, too still with a gaping hole in his chest where his heart should be, but instead I find it all the way across the room.

I gasp, and place a hand over my mouth as I scramble away from James's body. In my eyes, that James lying in front of me is not the real James, but rather an imposter. None of this is real, it can't be and I can't allow myself to believe other wise.

"Blair," Stefan says gently, Damon and Joel quietly walking behind him.

My breaths become shallow as I hug my knees up to my chest, sitting against the cold stone wall. "This isn't real," I say quietly. "Silas, he's playing another trick." 

"Blair, this isn't Silas okay? Silas is dead," Damon says quietly, pointing to the body bag behind James.

"But James, he's- he's not dead," I say, shaking my head as tears escape my eyes. 

Stefan's face contorts with sadness as he only stares at me, not knowing what else to say. Damon turns away, not able to look at me any more while Joel stands there with tears streaming down his face much like mine. Just by the look on Joel's face do I come to realization that this is in fact real. His sadness is all too real, much like mine.

"Joel," I say, my voice cracking. "Please tell me this isn't real."

Joel only frowns as he shakes his head, his eyes puffy and red from all the tears that spill from them. His reaction only causes me to cry harder, so much that I can't breathe any longer. I just sit  there across from James's body, gasping for breath as the walls feel like they're closing in on me. 

"I-I just got my memories back," I cry. "There was so much more I wanted to do, that I wanted to say to him-." I'm cut off as I'm no longer able to speak, my brain overwhelmed with emotion. 

Stefan kneels beside me and places a hand on my shoulder. "Blair, he's gone," he says gently. 

For some reason his words make me angry. I become furious, enraged with hatred that I know isn't true. This is nobody's fault except for Silas'. 

"You all lied to me!" I shout, looking up at Damon, Joel and Stefan. "You all knew he was dead, didn't you? And you didn't tell me?" 

"Blair-," Damon begins but I cut him off. 

"I wasted so much time in the beginning without my memories and you guys had the audacity to let me waste more time knowing his minutes were numbered?" I say, my eyes no longer filled with tears as I focus on anger. 

"It wasn't our choice, Blair," Joel speaks up. "It was his last wish. He told us not to tell you. He wanted to do it himself. He wanted your last day to be happy, not sad." 

I can't help but laugh. "That turned out great, didn't it?" I say as I wipe my wet eyes dry. They stay quiet at my words, taken back and uncertain of what to say or do.