Killafornia

XV.

Killafornia 

CJ

After about an hour of riding around with Rack City, we checked out some places and there was a studio apartment that I took a liking to. It wasn't anything high end or luxurious but a place I could see myself movin' into for a while with Vanity and the new born once he or she is here. For now, I can't move out. Not while Nana is in the condition she's in and deteriorating so fast. 

I was dropped off back at the house and was surprised Vanity wasn't back yet- that was until I looked at the time and understood why she wasn't back yet. Fair enough, but the house looked just like how I left it, living room curtains open with the light on and I saw Nana sitting at the table by herself eating. I walked inside and she didn't even pick up her head until I took a seat at the table with her. 

"Nana, I'm sorry for walkin' out like I did." I said as I sat right next to her so she could hear me without me having to yell or raise my voice too much. "I didn't leave because you made me mad or anythin', it's just heavy to take in the reality of the situation, especially since it's somethin' no where near my control."

"It's okay, CJ. I'm just happy you came back." 

"You know I'd never leave and not come back like that. I needed my space before I went off." 

"I know how you are." I worry about how much you really remember regarding how I am. "We didn't finish our conversation earlier." 

"We didn't finish because you fail to see I'm grown now. It's not like I'm in school, eighteen or nineteen with a child on the way. I'm completely out of my teens, in my twenties, getting money and you know how responsible I am. I thought you'd be happy to have a great grandchild on the way. I know it's out of wedlock like you don't like but you know and love Vanity so I don't see why you took it as a bad thing." 

"Caj'o. How you get money isn't legal and you can get locked up again. Yes I love Vanity, but you even told me her mental state isn't that great. Wouldn't a baby be more stress for her? She's already stressed as it is- bless her heart because she's so sweet but a baby, CJ. It's not just feed it at six and then it'll sleep for eight solid hours and wait for you two to come get it to be fed again. I know how you are and your patience is shot quick when people don't meet your expectations. What if one day she starts to freak out, is paranoid about whatever and just leaves?" She said with concern in her eyes as she grabbed the napkin and wiped the corners of her mouth. 

"She won't. I even brought up the option of abortion to her- not that I want her to go through with that, but I told her if she thinks she can't handle it with her current mental state, I'm in full support of what she decides and she wants to keep the baby. I think that now she's in therapy, she has someone else to talk to about her problems, it'll help her. I'd rather foot a therapy bill than a hospital bill because she overdosed on something Rack City gave her. I know what a baby is like, it's sleepless nights and stress, you don't need to tell me twice." 

"I just hope you're ready." She still didn't sound pleased or convinced but at least we can put the conversation to rest. She scooted out from the table and gathered her bowl, carrying it over to the sink so she could wash it. "Where is the baby going to stay?" 

"Haven't thought about none of that yet. Still accepting the news, myself but it'll all work out. I usually make everything work out in my favor in the end anyways." I said in a louder tone as I  gave a simple shrug of my shoulders. "Is there anywhere you need to go today?" She shook her head in response and I took myself down the hall to my room to start planning some things out. I'm a person who wants everything planned down to a T, no loose ends or room for something spontaneous to pop up. Nine months is a long time and anything can happen between now and then but I want a solid plan for Vanity and I.