Killafornia

XXXI.

Killafornia

Imani

Wiping the corners of my mouth with a napkin I grabbed from the box he had on his desk, folded it over one time and used it to dab the sweat that was clung to my face. He was standing behind his desk, pulling up his pants and redoing his belt. I reached down onto one of the chairs I usually sit in and handed him his dark maroon button up shirt. We shared a few words but for the most part we were focused on getting ourselves dressed, making sure we looked normal s no suspicions would be raised. Adjusting my uniform so it was the way it was supposed to be, I opened the door and stepped out of the inferno of an office into the bone chilling hallway. To get that deep inhale of crisp air into my lungs, it tingled in the back of my throat but still felt so nice, given just how hot that small office was.

With my pass in one hand and journal with the pen in the other, I walked right out to the main area, holding my pass up to the officer, she gave a nod and I continued on my way to my room. Thankfully it wasn't far because walking as normal as possible was proving to be a struggle like the last time but I focused on my steps, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot and next thing I knew I was back in my room. Locked in for the night, I crawled onto bed with the irresistible sensations flourishing through me.

I couldn't sleep though. Instead I wanted to work on my next letter to CJ. There was very little light that came through the slot in my door so I took my journal and pen over to the floor, laying flat on my belly so I could have the copper colored light beaming down on the notebook.

CJ,
I know you don't read my letters. I'd be surprised if you were finally reading this one that distinctly lets you know that I'm away you haven't even much as lifted a fold to my past ones. I hope all is well on your end. I'm dying to hear from you and especially Vanity. How is she? I should probably write her a separate letter because I know she'll read it. Things in here are been the same, no change and I feel more and more alone with each hour that passes by. The counselor here has been helping, he's who suggested I write that first letter in the beginning but with no replies to that, I felt compelled to try to write you more till I got some answer.
I've talked to you many times about us fixing our relationship, at this point I feel like a broken record or stuck in a constant time loop bringing this up but you mean more to me that I think you realize. It's nearly midnight in here and I'm on the ground writing to you this letter because I'm upset at how far this has gotten. I was wrong to not come see you when you were locked up but I figured you wouldn't have cared to see me anyways. I was wrong to turn you in but since being in here, I've had a lot of time to thing, specifically over the last couple of years and I'm not proud of the actions I did in those years, I'm not proud of who I became. I hate that it took me going to juvy to finally make me realize that I need to stop and get back on the right track to do better for myself.
You probably don't even care that I'm terribly sorry but I want to prove to you that I have changed since being here. I'm done with the childish games and I want to start fresh with myself. I hope you finally got around to opening this letter and I want to hear from you soon. I'm working on myself to get out early, I feel like I've been making a lot of progress and when I get out I will show you just how serious I am about everything I've been saying in these letters.
-Imani

I read it over and double checked my spelling. Folding up the letter so it would fit in the envelope, I wanted to send Vanity a letter as well. Maybe if she read it, she's urge CJ to open all the others and she may even convince him to come down to talk to me- that's a big maybe but it's worth a shot. I'm not going to bed any time soon so I'll just write this letter and then write a new journal entry to pass the time and hopefully make me sleepy.